Will there ever be a right time?
by CheatedDefeated
Summary: Roxanne Waters had an easy life, a job she loved, the greatest friends, the money she needed.. But after a case at Sun Hill, she struggles to get the last thing she wanted to complete everything. The handsome dark-haired Inspector just wouldn't step back into her life at the right time, leaving her wondering if there ever will be a right time? Smithy/OC.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't know if anyone actually bothers with The Bill anymore, but I've watched a few episode's of it on YouTube and Watch and aw, I forgot how much I loved it. So here I am, writing a fan fiction about it. **

**If you still like The Bill and don't really know anyone that likes it, then please feel free to leave a review mentioning it and I could PM you so we can chat or whatever? Or you could just PM me first, if you wanted! I won't bite haha!**

**Story Details: Starts from the 2005 Sun Hill Fire Episode, where the van is driven into the station and kills Marilyn, Andrea and Ken. Story ends up being set around the time of the last series.**

* * *

23rd February 2005, the day of the Sun Hill Fire. I remembered almost every movement I took that day. Sad? Possibly. Weird? Probably. It was a day I couldn't ever forget though.  
I'd woke up a bit late, but that was fine seeing's as it was finally my day off. I'd been working on a case at Barton street involving a mentally ill victim that needed Psychological help to give evidence and find the person that had attacked them. It had been a very stressful six days and I'd been working very long hours trying to help this victim, I was glad to have a day off before heading back to the office tomorrow. I had plans to meet my friend Rebecca Smith, whom I'd met through University friends about a year ago. We met at Starbucks in town at one, then strolled around the shops looking for something to wear for her upcoming 23rd birthday party.

We'd been shopping for a good few hours, when Becca's phone went off and she dropped all of her bags in the middle of Topshop and scrambled through her bag to answer it. I watched as she read the name of the person that was calling her. "Phil Hunter?" She raised an eyebrow, then quickly answered. I knew that Phil was a close friend of her family, and worked with her brother, but I'd never met him.. Or her brother. I couldn't put a face to the name, I'd just known that they were officers Sun Hill.. One place of which I hadn't worked yet. I twisted to look at a pair of heels on the shelf behind me, looking for a size to fit me.

"He what?" Becca sounded in shock, but it was probably just one of her friends telling her something that their bloke had done or something usual like that.

I slid my foot out of my ballet pumps and placed the heel on the floor.

"Oh my god. Is he okay?!" Becca cried.

I paused what I was doing and looked at my friend, the panic clear on her face. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion and looked at her.

"I'm going straight there!" She said and hung up her phone.

"What's happened?" I questioned.

"There's been a fire at Sun Hill, my brother's been injured." She mumbled, her worriedness clear.

"Oh god.. Is it serious?"

"I don't know... He's at Saint Hughes. I'll have to get a cab there!" She shoved her phone into her pocket and picked up her bags.

I slipped my shoe back on and placed the heel back on the shelf. "Don't be silly, I'll give you a lift!"

"Are you sure?" She asked, as we headed towards the door.

"Of course I'm sure, it's quicker than getting a bloody taxi! Come on!"

* * *

We rushed to the car and found ourselves at Saint Hughes within twenty minutes. Rebecca had begged me to go in with her, for moral support in case her brother was in a bad condition. I couldn't say no, and told her to go in and I'd park up then find her. She did as I said.

After driving around for a few minutes, waiting for an available space and getting a ticket, I rushed through the corridors searching for where Becca had said she was headed. Eventually I found my way there, and asked which ward he was on. The nurse pointed me in the right direction, and I went and searched for Becca.

It took a few seconds for me to spot Becca's dark shoulder length hair and bright red shirt, then I made my way over there.

Becca heard me approach and looked over her left shoulder. "Hey." She smiled softly at me, as I moved closer to the bed she was perched on the edge of.

I smiled back at her, and peered around her at her brother. He looked pretty battered. He had wires attached to him, an oxygen mask over his mouth, and plenty of cuts and bruises covering his face and neck. His short brown hair was ruffled and untidy, little bits of rubble still in it. He seemed really fragile, nothing like Becca had ever explained him to be. He looked up at me, then reached up to move his oxygen mask.

"So this is the infamous Roxanne Waters." He breathlessly panted. For some unknown reason, my heart faltered a little as he said my name.

"Dale put your oxygen mask back on! You don't need to speak.." Becca told him.

I giggled and shrugged.

Dale shook his head and put the mask back over his mouth, took a few breaths then removed it again. "I'm fine."

"Dale..." Becca started, but stopped when her brother shot her a glare.

I smiled. "You know, you should listen to your sister. Clearly you're having trouble breathing."

He rolled his eyes. "Don't you start."

Becca and I laughed quietly whilst he took a few more breaths of oxygen.

"I know what you're doing." I told him.

He raised an eyebrow. "Oh do you now?"

I nodded and sat down on the chair next to the bed. "You're acting strong, like the big-hard-man copper that you are. But you don't realise that you aren't fooling anyone.. Especially not your sister."

He chuckled and took in more oxygen. "So if that was true, how would you know what's going on in my mind?"

"Psychologist." I stated, smirking at him.

He looked at me for a second, his eyes narrowed. After a while he spoke up. "I want you to come and figure me out a bit more.." He mumbled cheekily.

I blinked at him and laughed.

"Uh, Dale! Stop trying to chat up my best mate!" Becca cried.

Dale chuckled, then started to cough uncontrollably, quickly covering his mouth with the oxygen mask, lying back on the bed and taking a few deep breaths.

Becca sighed. "Enough for you Romeo." She teased. "I think it's time you focused on getting better, not trying to get your leg over."

I bit my lip to hold back a laugh.

He lifted the mask away from his mouth a little, "She loved it."

"Since when did you know what I love?" I questioned, teasingly.

He opened his mouth to answer, but started to cough again and put the mask back in place.

"You're encouraging him now, Roxie!" Becca grumbled. "Come on, lets go and get a coffee and let ol' Romeo here have some sleep!"

I got to my feet and smiled at Dale. Becca kissed his cheek, then got up and we headed towards the lift. I couldn't help but look back over my shoulder at the fragile man we had just left. He was watching us walk away, a tired look on his face, but a glint of sadness in his eyes that we were leaving him. I looked away as I caught his eye, feeling bad for leaving him, but I knew Becca wouldn't leave him for long.

* * *

I didn't see him again after that day. Becca said he was back on his feet within six weeks, eager to get back to work. That was exactly how I'd expected him to be, from what Becca had told me in the past, and the way he was when I met him. I was glad that he was better and Becca was definitely a lot less tense, which made being around her easier. It was bad enough being with all these tense and panicked people everyday at work, never mind coming back to my best friend being the same.

Dale didn't attend his sister's birthday, as expected, he was working. Becca didn't mind, she was glad to see him happily occupied.

The party was a success, and we managed to get bladdered and carried home, something I hadn't done since my Uni days, but it was well worth the memories. Although the hangover the next day almost had me regretting the sambucca and jaeger bomb filled memories!

Eventually I was quite glad to get back to work. Even though I complained about it often, I did enjoy it at times. I loved doing cases in court where I had to think about what was going through the criminal's head and what had made then committ the crime. I liked all the thinking.. I liked my career.


	2. Chapter 2

**If you're reading, please leave a review? Thanks!**

* * *

Years passed, and 2008 finally came along. I celebrated my 26th birthday a few days after new years eve, Becca joining me of course. We'd remained friends over the years, both of us in and out of a few relationships, none of them really successful. Nothing had really changed for us at all. We were still the same as back in 2005, but with a better taste in fashion.. I guess.

Becca had recently started seeing a swanky bar owner, from the other side of London, and to be honest she was bloody lucky. Not only was he minted, he was gorgeous too. Even though they were only just seeing each other, it was clear they were both head-over-heels.. No one just wanted to say anything yet.

And as for me? I'd not been with anyone for almost a year. The last 'boyfriend' had been a compulsive liar and cheat, and I was glad to see the back of him. I'd given up on love for the time being and wanted to just focus on myself. Although, I did wonder if I ever would find the one.. I knew it wasn't too late for me yet, so the thoughts would be shoved to the back of my mind just as soon at they arrived. Mr right was out there somewhere.

* * *

I walked into the office on the 2nd May, my blonde hair scooped up in a messy ponytail on top of my head. I'd struggled to drag myself out of bed, wishing I could have all of this lovely Friday off, but of course, if I wanted money, I needed to work. I'd run into Starbucks on my way in and grabbed a coffee, before heading into work, dumping my bag on the desk and flopping back onto my chair.

I had only managed to take one sip of my coffee before the door knocked. The blind was open, so I looked up and nodded at the person outside. It was Julia, my boss.

"Good morning, Roxanne." She smiled at me. She was my boss, but we had quite a friendly relationship, and she was almost like a second mother. With her fair jaw-length bob, and soft wrinkles (that had only just started appearing!) she reminded me quite a lot of my Mother that was back home in Essex. We got on quite well and over the years had become good friends, always having a good gossip every now and again.

I muttered a quiet 'morning', and took another sip of my coffee.

"I know it's a Friday and you want a relaxing day, but I need you to be on your best today!"

I placed my drink on the table and looked up at her. "Another case?"

"Not quite." She answered.

I raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Sun Hill had an incident yesterday... To do with the bombings. You've seen the newspapers haven't you?"

"I read over it quickly last night whilst I was waiting for Rebecca. What's happened?"

"A PC was killed, couldn't get out of the building quick enough, bless her." Julia smiled gently, the sympathy for the poor officer on her face. "Sun Hill called this morning and asked for a more personal form of psychology. Almost counselling. They've used us for a lot of cases before and believed that we would be best to work with some of the officers that were close to the officer that died."

I nodded. "So, why not send someone that's worked with them before? I haven't done a case in Sun Hill before.." I questioned.

"Amy's on holiday, and I was going to send Peter, but he called in sick about five minutes before you arrived. You're the only one we've got that has a psychology and counselling degree."

I shrugged. "Okay then. Any details on this officer and who was close to her?"

"They want you there at ten and someone will meet you at reception, then fill you in on everything."

"Alright." I glanced at the clock, I had an hour and a half.

Julia looked up at the clock too. "You might want to leave soon, its really busy on the roads today.. and you don't want to be late!"

"Will do!"

"Have a good day." Julia smiled and left, shutting the door behind her.

I switched on the computer and waited for it to load up, sipping some more of my coffee. I logged on, then started up the internet browser. I threw my now empty cup in the bin, then started to research the Sun Hill incident, hoping to get a heads up before I went. The PC's name was Emma Keane, but other than that, there was nothing more than what Julia had told me. I switched the computer off, and finished a few pieces of paperwork, before heading off.

* * *

I arrived at Sun Hill two minutes late, bloody traffic. I grabbed my bag and rushed into the station, twisting to lock my car as I did so. I walked straight up to the desk and was greeted by a young woman.

"Hello, can I help?"

"Hi, I'm Roxanne Waters from Willow Psychological Services. I'm supposed to be meeting someone here to do with the death of PC Emma Keane."

"Oh yes, I've been told to expect you. If you could just take a seat, I'll call up and get someone to come for you."

"Thank you." I smiled at her, then strolled over to the seats a few meters behind me. I watched a few people come in and out of the doors, then pulled my mobile phone out of my pocket, reading a text from Becca and quickly replied.

"Where is she?" I heard a familiar voice say. I looked up and stood by the desk was Becca's brother.

"Over there, Sergeant Smith." She said it a little too late, as he had already spotted me, a grin on his face.

I stood up and shoved my phone back into my pocket. "Well, well.. Dale Smith." I smiled at him. "You're in a much better condition than the last time I saw you!"

He chuckled. "The only time you've ever seen me!"

"True." I walked over to him and he shook my hand. "Becca does tend to keep me informed on what you get up to though. She's very proud of you."

"Sounds just like her." He shook his head, the grin still on his face. "This way." He led me towards the door and held it open for me, before speaking again. "What's this I hear about Becca's new man?"

"You haven't met him yet?"

"Only found out about him yesterday!"

"He's lovely, and very good looking."

Dale rolled his eyes. "I was expecting you to say something like that."

I smiled and shook my head. "Anyway, this isn't a social visit.."

"Of course its not." He said, the chatty mood dying away a little. "Inspector Gold was supposed to be coming down to greet you, but there was an incident that everyone was called off to, so I was sent down."

He led me up some stairs, then into an office. He shut the door behind me, then leaned back on the filing cabinet.

"So, Emma Keane?" I asked, placing my bag on the floor and leaning on the radiator opposite him.

"Was killed by a bomb yesterday. She was friendly with most people here.. Everyone was shocked by the news. I think that Callum Stone and Sally Armstrong have taken it the worst. They were both there at her death. Callum tried CPR, and Sally just didn't want to lose her best friend. Callum also appeared to have feelings for Emma, but no one ever really mentioned it."

"Okay... So I'll really only need to talk to Sally and Callum?"

"Pretty much. If anyone else wants to drop in and talk, then I suppose that should be fine too. Inspector Gold has told Sally and Callum, and well all of us, that if we feel we need to talk about anything, that you will be here today."

"Right, so I'm just trying to get them to talk about how they feel? Try and make them understand that it'll be easier soon?"

"That's basically it. You'll be in here all day, except a lunch break and that. Seeings as most people probably won't return until about two, it looks like it'll probably be me and you for lunch." He grinned.

"You'd like that wouldn't you?" I teased.

He chuckled and stood up properly, crossing his arms across his chest. "Do you have anything to do until everyone gets here?"

"Well I was planning on calling your sister and having a chat, but some how I can't see you letting me do that."

He chuckled again. "Don't be silly. We can both talk to her."

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "So I'm stuck with you right up until after lunch?"

"If I don't get called away."

"Well I'm hoping they'll need you out there Sergeant Smith."

"Oh really? Well now I'm just hoping that it's a quiet day so that I can annoy you with my presence."

I didn't reply and ignored his comment. If this was his way of attempting to flirt with me, then he could go and jump. There was no way I was going to let my best friends cheeky elder brother flirt with me.

A good few seconds of silence passed before Dale spoke again. "So, how have you been?"

"Alright. Just working and trying to squeeze a social life in the gaps."

"Same here. Although I think it's just about working..." He joked.

I laughed. "I suppose I haven't done too bad, after all I have had the last three weekends off!"

"Bloody hell, wish I could have three weekends in a row off! I'm lucky just to get a Saturday off!"

"Well you chose the job.." I teased. "Plus you got plenty of time off back in 2005!"

"That wasn't exactly time for a social life though was it now! I almost died!"

"Don't over-exaggerate, Sergeant Smith."

"I'm not, Miss Waters."

I raised an eyebrow at how he had called me 'miss waters' but didn't say anything. His radio suddenly beeped to life and someone asked for him. He spoke into it, before looking at me.

"You've got your wish! I'll be disappearing now. Needed on that case!" he informed me.

I smiled at him, thinking (and failing) to come up with a witty reply.

"I'll see ya later!" He said, flashing me another one of his cheeky grins. He left the office and I pushed off of the radiator and sat down on the chair in front of the desk. I pulled my phone out and unlocked it, when the door opened again. "Oh and one last thing, Sally's on her way back now. I think she's going to come up to you."

"Okay." I smiled at Dale again. "Piss off then!"

He chuckled and pulled the door shut, disappearing from view.


	3. Chapter 3

**Review ;)**

* * *

The day passed slowly. I'd spoken with Sally for a good hour, maybe a bit longer. She made it clear that PC Keane was a very close friend, and I could understand how she was feeling about her death. I'd be distraught if Becca died, and I suppose that was what was going through my mind as I spoke to Sally, trying to be sympathetic as well as reassuring her that everyone around her was always here to help. I suggested that she should get some time off, time to grieve away from work... Time to be with her family, as well as Emma's.

Dale came by at lunch time, as expected. Showed me where the canteen was, then had to dash again.. Thank god. It wasn't that I didn't like him, because he was funny and a lot like his sister, I just didn't like his little flirty ways. Becca had warned me this morning when I texted her telling her that her brother was 'showing me around', and my god was she right about her brother, exactly right. It's almost like she knew what was going on in his head. I suppose with a man like that though, there isn't a lot on his mind.

After lunch, I didn't manage to catch Callum. Inspector Gold came in and told me that she didn't think I'd get much out of Callum anyway... he didn't particularly like to share his feelings. I understood. A lot of people didn't. Callum was one of many.

At six, Dale came back. He knocked on the door, letting himself in not bothering for me to even say 'come in'. He smiled at me and leaned in the door frame.

"Had a good day?" He asked.

"It was a little emotional with Sally, but yes." I answered.

"I was expecting you to say that. She's lost someone so important to her, of course she's going to feel emotional."

I nodded. "It must be so difficult. I don't know how I'd react if something like that happened to Becca."

"I don't even want to think about something like that happening to Becca." He said, shaking his head. "It'd kill me."

"Well that'd make two of us." I stated.

He sighed. "Anyway.." He stood up properly and placed his arms across his chest. "On a more light-hearted note, a load of us are going down the pub after work, do you want to come?"

I thought about it for a second. "I don't want to get in the way, plus I'm not exactly dressed to head down the pub am I?"

He looked me up and down. "Don't be silly, if that's not what you'd wear to the pub then I'm seriously wondering what you go in.. Your birthday suit?"

I shook my head, a smile on my face. "You can get that thought out of your head right now."

He chuckled. "So will you be coming or what?"

I hesitated for a second, I was hoping to see Becca tonight... But she'd probably be with her new bloke anyway, I suppose her brother could be the next best thing. "Only if you're buying." I told him.

"If you're lucky, I might just do so. Meet me outside in half hour?"

"Alright."

"See ya in a bit!" he smiled at me and left, pulling the door shut behind him.

I checked my phone again, before collecting all of my things together. I then left the office and looked around for the toilet.

"Roxanne?" I heard Sally's voice behind me and turned to look at her.

"Oh Sally, you couldn't show me where the loo is could you?" I asked.

She nodded and walked to my side. "This way." She led me towards the toilet. "I just wanted to thank you. I feel a bit better after talking about it to someone. And I've got the time off that I need, I've been given up until the day after the funeral."

"That's great. Sudden loss's can be very upsetting and difficult to cope with, but I know you'll do just fine." I smiled at her.

She half smiled back, and paused next to the toilet door. "Here we go." She pushed it open and walked in. I followed her. I placed my bag on the sink and pulled out my make-up bag, opening it and putting a bit more bronzer on.

Sally went into a stall and came out a minute later, heading to the sink to wash her hands. She looked at me in the mirror. "Going somewhere tonight?"

"Just a few of your colleagues invited me down to the pub!"

"That wouldn't have been Smithy that invited you down there would it?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah. How did you know?"

"He invited me too, trying to get a big group together." She turned the tap off and shook her hands dry.

"Ah. I guess he's just trying to make me feel welcome, either that or his sister will beat him to a pulp!" I joked. "You should come? Take your mind off of things?"

"Not tonight. I want to just have an early one, I'm knackered."

"Oh okay. Well, remember, everyone's here to talk if you need them! Don't go home and bottle everything up."

"I won't, thank you." She smiled again and walked towards the door. "I think Beth's going out tonight if you want a female companion."

"I haven't met her yet, but I'm sure we'll probably end up having a natter!" I joked.

Sally smiled again. "Bye Roxanne."

"See ya soon!" I smiled at her as she left, then continued my make up in the mirror. When I was finished, I put it all away, then teared the band out of my hair, so that it fell down and sat at my waist. I ran my hands through it, then left it be.

* * *

I leaned on the bonnet of my car and waited for Dale for a few minutes. He came from around the back with a few other males and a young female. He headed over to me, the others watching him.

"Alright?" He said. "I'll introduce you to that lot when we get there."

"Okay. I guess I'll be driving?"

"Yeah I didn't bother to bring my car."

"Alright then." I hopped down of the bonnet. "Get in then."

We both climbed into the car and he told me what pub to go to. We arrived a few minutes later and I pulled into the car park, seeing a few familiar faces from today heading into the pub. I parked up, then looked at Dale.

"You better not forget about that drink."

"What drink?"

I narrowed my eyes at him and he smirked. "Don't be an arse!"

He chuckled. "You know you shouldn't swear at a copper."

"You're off duty." I flashed him a sarcastic grin, then climbed out of the car. He also got out. I waited for him to shut the door, then locked my car. As I did so, a few people approached us. I recognized them from outside the station and smiled.

"Everyone, this is Roxanne Waters, the counselor hired after yesterday." He didn't go into any detail about why I was here, probably just trying to avoid the subject for the night. He turned to me, then pointed to each of the people in front of us. "This is Nate, Ben, Beth, Reg and Tony."

"Nice to meet you all." I said.

"You too." The first one Dale had introduced, Nate I think he's said, stepped forwards and held his hand out to me.

Beth rolled her eyes and grabbed his arm, dragging him out of the way and pushing him towards the pub. "Ignore him, he's a massive flirt!"

I let out a small laugh and nodded. "I'll keep that in mind!"

We all headed into the pub and I sat down in between Nate and Dale. Ben had offered to buy first round and headed off to get the drinks that everyone wanted. Everyone started up a conversation about something that happened throughout the day, so I just sat back and listened. After a few minutes, I pulled out my phone and replied to messages from Becca, Julia and my Mum. I wasn't exactly sure how my Mum had learnt to text... She'd always called me, claiming that her phone was too complicated and small to send a text message on. Yet somehow she'd figured it out.

Suddenly, a hand was blocking my phone screen. "Oi you, don't be so unsociable!" Dale's voice came from my right.

I looked up at him and blinked. "If you must know, I was replying to a message from my Mother. Some how she's figured out how to actually use her phone."

He chuckled and moved his hand. "Put it away and enjoy the night!"

I sighed and sent the reply to my mum, then shoved the phone back into my pocket. "I do hope you're not expecting me to get bladdered. I only do that on special occasions."

"And the first of many drinks with me isn't special?"

I scoffed. "Planning for me to join you all every weekend?"

He smiled and ignored my comment.

Ben placed all of the drinks on the table, and I lent forwards to pick mine up. "Thank you."

* * *

About an hour later, Tony and Reg had gone home, and the blokes had all wandered off to play pool. I was still sat at the table with Beth, and we'd been chatting about clothes and relationships and all sorts.

"I reckon Smithy's got a thing for you!" Beth said, raising her eyebrows, a grin on her face.

I scoffed and laughed. "I don't think he'd dare! His sister would kill him!"

"His sister?"

"She's my best friend!"

"Oh..." She laughed. "I can still see him trying it on eventually."

"Don't be silly, he'd have no bollocks the next day, Becca would have chopped them off!"

We both laughed. "I'm going to get another drink, want one?"

"No I'm alright thanks, I'll probably head off soon."

"This early?"

I shrugged and Beth got to her feet and headed to the bar. I watched her go, until I felt somebody sit down next to me. I looked at who it was. Smithy.

"Lost the game of pool?" I asked.

"Of course not. I'm the king. I just got bored and quit."

"Yeah alright then!" I mumbled sarcastically.

"What? I didn't lose!"

I rolled my eyes, "Alright, you didn't!"

He smiled, satisfied with my reply. "Where's Beth?"

"Gone to the bar."

"Getting you another drink?" He asked.

"No, I'm thinking of heading off soon."

"Don't be silly! You can't go this early!"

"I've got things to do." I lied.

"What could possibly be more interesting than a night out with us lot?"

I opened my mouth to answer, but nothing came out.

"Exactly. We were just talking about heading into town in a bit, going to a bar or something. You're coming too."

I sighed and shrugged, knowing I wouldn't get my way in this. I suppose I'd better get myself in the mood for a night on the town.


	4. Chapter 4

We all strolled down town about half an hour later, and went into a bar called time out. It was fairly busy and we all found a table before doing anything else. Dale bought a round of shots for us all and another drink, then sat on the end, next to me. We all did our shots at the same time, most of us pulling faces at the strong taste of it.

Nate took a gulp of his beer, and Beth watched him do so, then spoke up over the music. "Do you know what.. I reckon Roxie could down a pint quicker than the lot of you.."

I furrowed my eyebrows together and looked at Beth, wondering where her comment had come from.

Nate scoffed. "Yeah, like that'll happen!"

Smithy chuckled. "No chance."

I looked at them both in disbelief. "What, because I'm woman? Not a big-macho-man like you's two?"

"Of course no-" Smithy started.

I cut in "-Well then. Get me a pint and I'll prove I can do it better than you."

Nate laughed. "Go on then Smithy, get her one. Prove her wrong."

Beth shook her head and raised her eyebrows. "Got a feeling you'll regret doing that!"

Smithy scoffed and stood up, walking over to the bar.

"You think you can actually beat them two at downing a pint?" Ben asked.

"Course she can't!" Nate cried.

"Just you bloody watch then, mate!" I said, flashing him a sarcastic smile.

"Bring it on." He mumbled.

Smithy returned with my pint in his hand, and gave it to me. I took it from him and waited as he sat down next to me.

"Hold on a minute, Nate doesn't even have a whole pint?" Smithy said, looking at Nate's glass.

I shrugged. "I'll still beat him."

Beth laughed. "On the count of three, ready?"

We all nodded or answered with 'yeah'.

"One, two, three!" Beth cried. As soon as the word three had left her lips, I pushed the glass to my lips and downed the pint as quickly as I could.

I slammed my glass down a second before Smithy, and Nate a little bit after. I quickly wiped my mouth, then laughed.

Beth cheered. "I told you so, didn't I?!"

Ben clapped his hands, laughing.

"Not bad..." Smithy mumbled.

I turned to an embarrassed Nate. "I think you should buy me a drink as an apology..."

He sighed. "What do you want?"

"Surprise me."

"Move then!"

Smithy and I slid out of booth, and stood at the edge of the table, waiting for Nate to shuffle out.

"Bet you're glad you didn't go home eh?" Smithy said into my ear, making sure I could hear over the music.

I smiled and tiptoed to talk back into his ear. "Free drinks since I got here, couldn't be more glad!"

He chuckled and we both sat back down, leaving a space on the end for Nate.

* * *

A while passed, and Nate had gone to chat up some girl at another table. Beth and Ben were at the bar doing shots with a few people they'd bumped into. Smithy and I sat at the table, a new round of shots just been placed in front of us.

"Right, I have a game we can play with these shots." I told him.

"How old are we? And we're going to play shot games?"

"Shut up and listen." I ordered. He smirked and did as he was told. "Right, we're gonna tell each other something about ourselves, could be a lie or the truth. If I think you're bullshitting, I'll say and if I'm wrong, I'll drink a shot. Same for you."

"Alright. You go first."

"Okay." I thought for a moment. "I was ginger as a child."

"Bullshit."

I smiled and nodded, signalling that he was correct.

"I was once held hostage with a little boy called Tim." He said.

I thought about it for a moment... Tim wasn't a very common name for a little boy was it? "Bullshit."

He smirked and shook his head.

"What?! It's true?!"

He nodded. "I'm sure it's not the last time it'll happen either!"

I laughed and downed a shot, then came up with my next one. "Whilst I was at Uni, I fell down some stairs and broke my wrist."

"That is not bullshit..."

"Ugh. You can tell you're a copper." I grumbled. "I don't like this game anymore."

He chuckled, but we continued the game until all of the shots were gone. I'd drank a few more than him, and my eyes started to feel heavy, signalling that I'd drunk a bit more than I'd intended.

"Right. I'm not drinking anything else." I stated.

"Oh really?" He sighed. "I wanted to go into Becca's fella's bar, see what it's like."

"I don't think that's a good idea.. We're both a bit pissed, and I know Becca will be there."

"Oh come on, I'm not going to cause any trouble am I?! I'm a copper remember!"

"How could I forget?" I muttered. "I'm more worried about us showing up Becca in front of her bloke."

Smithy slid out of the booth and pulled me with him. "I'm not taking no for an answer... We're going whether you like it or not..."

I stood up and raised my eyebrows at him. "Is that right?"

"Yes." He said, bending down and grabbing me, throwing me over his shoulder.

I grumbled and punched his back. "Put me down! This is so embarrassing!"

He laughed and started to walk towards the exit. "Agree to come and I'll put you down."

I sighed and flopped my head down. "You're so irritating."

He gripped me a little tighter.

"Fine. We'll go to the bar. Now put me down!"

He chuckled and stopped, putting me back on my feet. He looked at me, a satisfied look on his face, glad that he'd got what he wanted.

"I swear, you're so stubborn. It's always your way or no way!"

He shrugged. "The perks of being Dale Smith!"

* * *

We arrived at the bar about twenty minutes later. We'd had to walk quite far to get there, and we weren't in any hurry to be honest. We sat at a table and had a drink that lasted a while. I didn't want to let Becca know we were here because I didn't want us to show her up, but I knew Smithy wanted to see her new bloke, so I pointed him out when he came into sight.

A few drinks more, and it got to closing time. The bouncers started to clear everyone out, and Smithy and I stood up to leave. I finished off my drink then placed it back on the table, then felt a tug on my arm. I turned around to see Smithy trying to pull me in the direction of Becca and the bloke. I tried to pull him back again.

"No don't go over there! We need to go!"

He ignored me, and continued to pull me over there. I gave up and let him, then we paused at the bar where Becca and her bloke were standing.

"Dale?" Becca questioned, looking at him, she then tilted her head to see me. "Roxie?"

I awkwardly smiled at her, wishing Smithy hadn't dragged me over here. I really didn't want the pair of us to make Becca look like an idiot.

"I didn't realize that when you said you were going out for a drink that you'd be coming here?" Becca said.

"It wasn't planned!" I told her. "Someone dragged me here." I looked at her brother and rolled my eyes.

He chuckled. "Quite literally!"

Becca turned to her bloke. "Shaun, this is my brother Dale, and you've already briefly met Roxie."

"Alright mate." Smithy held his hand out for Shaun to shake it.

"Nice to meet you." Shaun shook his hand. "Would you both like a drink?"

"I think we've had enough!" I said, looking around the almost empty bar.

"Don't be silly, we'd both love a drink!" Smithy said, completely defying what I had just said.

Shaun and Becca walked around to the other side of the bar. As they did so, I lent forwards to whisper in Smithy's ear. "I want to punch you in the face right now."

He smirked. "Feisty."

I shot him a glare, then sighed and sat down on a stall. Seeings as it was always his way or nothing, I might as well sit down and have the drink now.

Becca told Shaun what drinks we would have, then they were placed in front of us.

"So you two were working together today?" Becca asked.

"Oh no, I didn't work with him... He just hovered about like a scrounging puppy!" I muttered sarcastically.

"You loved having me around!" Smithy cried.

"Since when did you know what I love?"

"Wow, dejavu." Becca mumbled.

"What?" I looked at Becca, confused.

"I swear you two had a conversation almost the same as this in the hospital?" She said.

I blinked. We had. "Just proves how annoying he still is three years later."

"Oh shut it you!" Smithy said, grinning.

We continued to chat and finished our drinks in the empty bar.

I placed my glass down, then spoke. "Right, I think it's time that we go!"

"I agree." Becca said, looking up at the clock. It was almost four. "Don't you have work tomorrow Dale?"

"Not until twelve." He answered.

"Oh." Becca smiled at me and kissed my cheek. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Alright, see ya!" I climbed down off of the stall and took a few steps towards the door. I looked at Smithy. "Come on you!"

He finished his drink, then said goodbye to his sister and Shaun and we headed towards the door. Nothing was said until we got outside.

"So, will you be coming back to mine?" Smithy asked.

I laughed. "I may be pissed, but not pissed enough to go home with you, Sergeant Smith."

He chuckled. "Worth a try! Not even if it's just a cheaper cab fair?"

I sighed. "You'll do anything won't you." I rolled my eyes and hailed down a cab. "You're giving me the bed, and you're sleeping on the floor."

* * *

We arrived at his and both flopped down on the sofa. I took my heels off after wearing them all day. My feet were killing.

"Ugh, I have never worn heels for so long, ever." I grumbled. I put my feet up on his lap. "Give them a message."

He chuckled. "You wish."

"Oh go on, I bet you've really got a soft touch."

He chuckled again and actually started to massage them. I pushed my hair out of my face and put my head back, closing my eyes. I was so tired.

"So.. ever considering coming out with us again? Or have we put you off us lot all together?" He asked.

"Well I'd gladly go out with the others, but I've had more than enough of you to last me a lifetime." I turned my head to him and opened my eyes.

"Oh thanks!" He mumbled sarcastically.

"You're welcome." I joked. We both half-heartedly laughed, both of us tired. I closed my eyes again and it was silent for a while.

Smithy stopped massaging my feet, and I felt him move beside me. Suddenly, I was no longer sat on the sofa, but in Smithy's arms. I kept my eyes closed, knowing that if I opened them he'd probably make me walk.

I kept them closed until I felt the sheets of his bed beneath me. I slowly opened them and looked up at him. "Thanks for the carry."

He chuckled and sat down next to me. I let my eyes fall closed again, I was struggling to even keep them open anymore. I felt Smithy's arm slide around my neck and I made myself comfortable with him, then within seconds I was sound asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

**For the person that asked, yes Rebecca and Becca are the same person!**

* * *

I awoke about six hours later, not feeling any better at all. My feet still felt achey, and my head was pounding. It took a moment for me to remember where I was, who had their arm around me and who's chest I was leaning on. When I remembered I quickly slid away and laid a few inches away from him. Jesus Christ I hope Becca didn't get the wrong idea, it was one of the main 'unspoken friendship rules' to not get too close to each others siblings. Especially when Becca's brother was a massive flirt.

Not that anything had happened anyway. But I suppose falling asleep in his arms classed as 'too close'. I closed my eyes again and sighed. Becca couldn't possibly be mad could she? I mean, I'd shared a bed with her... Why not her brother? Maybe I was just thinking too much into it. Becca probably wouldn't care anyway... At least I hoped she wouldn't. Ugh, all this thinking was making my head pound even more.

Smithy started to stir next to me, and I looked up at him. His eyes slowly flickered open and he yawned. "Morning." He mumbled.

"Morning." I replied.

He stretched, the slowly sat up, his hand moving up to his head, his fingers rubbing his temples. "Oh mate, my head is thumping."

"Yours ain't the only one!"

He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds before reopening them and getting to his feet. "Want some paracetamol?"

"Please!" I mumbled and rolled over onto my front. I watched him leave the room, then put my head down into the covers, my arms above my head.

He returned a few minutes later, and I looked up him. We slowly walked into the room, a glass of water in one hand, and a packet of Paracetamol in the other. "Here you go."

I smiled, sat up and took the paracetamol from him. "Thanks."

He placed the glass on the wooden bedside table, whilst I popped to tablets out of the packet. I then picked the glass up and took the tablets.

"Becca's bloke seemed nice last night." Smithy smiled and sat down next to me.

"I'm surprised you remember!"

He scoffed. "Of course I remembered, I wasn't that hammered!"

"Ha! You were worse than me!"

"Don't be stupid, Roxie! I had to carry you to bed!"

"Only because after you'd picked me up I didn't bother to do anything because I couldn't be arsed to move!" I replied.

He rolled his eyes. "You know what, we should just agree to disagree?"

I shrugged. "Fine. At least we're agreeing on something!"

He chuckled and yawned again. "Do you want to get in the shower before me?"

"I've got no clean clothes to put on after, so i'll just head home and shower there." I answered, before sighing and flopping my head back in annoyance. "I left my car down the pub didn't I?"

He nodded. "You did."

"Ugh." I grumbled.

"Get in the shower and I'll let you borrow my trackies and a top, then i'll drop you off at the pub." He said.

I let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks."

He smiled at me. "I'll get you a towel and leave the clothes on the bed." He disappeared from the room and came back with a towel.

I took it from him and went into the en-suite bathroom.

"Don't use all the hot water!" He called after me.

"No promises!" I teased and pushed the door shut.

* * *

I got out of the shower about ten minutes later and dried myself off before heading back into the bedroom and getting dressed. The grey track suit bottoms were a bit loose around my waist, but I managed to pull the strings on them and make them as tight as possible. The polo shirt was also a bit big, which I had expected anyway.

I ran my hands through my wet hair then pulled the band off of my wrist and scooped my hair up on top of my head. I then headed downstairs to find Smithy sat on the sofa watching TV.

I stood at the door. "Bet I look like a right chav."

He looked up at me and shook his head. "You look fine. Nothing like the chav's I have run-in's with most days!" He stood up. "I'm gonna jump in the shower, kitchen's through there, help yourself." He nodded in the direction of the kitchen, then ran up the stairs.

I slowly walked into the room he had just pointed out, and headed towards the kettle. I filled it with water and put it on, then searched around the cupboards for a cup. Eventually I found one and made myself a cup of coffee, then sat down at the table. I sipped my scolding hot drink, then sat back and looked around the room. He was fairly clean for a man, especially a man that lived on his own. In fact, it was probably cleaner than my place, seeings as I hadn't had the chance to tidy it over the last few busy weeks.

I was suddenly drawn out of my thoughts by my phone ringing in the other room. I quickly stood up and rushed through to the living room, grabbed my bag and searched through it for my phone. Eventually I felt the vibrating piece of plastic and gripped hold of it, pulling it out of my bag just in time to answer the call from Becca.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Morning sunshine! Hangover?" Becca's voice came through the phone.

I strolled back through to the kitchen as we spoke. "Ugh yes. I'm definitely feeling it today."

"How much did you even drink last night?"

"Um... A few of the officers brought a couple of rounds, then there was my cocktail when we went into town, and then I had a downing contest with Nate to see who could down a pint quicker, then a drink Nate got me.. Uh... A few shots and then whatever I had at Shaun's." I said, surprising myself at the realisation of how much I did drink.

"Bloody hell Roxie! I'm surprised you could even stand!"

I laughed. "Thank god it wasn't a repeat of my last birthday party."

"And mine! You make a habit of getting trashed at parties don't you?" She laughed. "Did you get home alright?"

I panicked as soon as I heard the words. She'd kill me for staying at Dale's, she'd already warned me that he was a flirt (so she'd definitely think something had happened!), that and the 'unspoken friendship rule'. "Uh..."

"I hope you made me a coffee!" Smithy's voice came from the doorway, and I panicked some more.

"Uh... Roxie did I just hear my brother?" Becca's voice rang into my ears.

"I'm a bit busy right now, I'll call you in a bit." I said, quickly hanging up on Becca and putting my head in my hands.

"You alright?" Smithy questioned as he flicked the kettle on.

"That was your sister on the phone."

"Oh. So why do you look like someone's just been murdered?" He questioned.

I looked up at him. "She's not going to be too happy about me being here is she?"

"Why? It's not like anything happened?"

"Yeah but you know how it is... She'll jump to conclusions when I tell her I stayed here, and well, you should never appear to get too close to your best friend's brother."

He sighed and walked over to the table. "You're being silly and over thinking." He sat down opposite me. "Don't mention sharing the bed if it'll bother her that much, tell her you slept on the sofa."

"I don't want to lie to her.." I mumbled before taking a swig of my coffee.

"Well don't then. Tell her exactly what happened." He shrugged. "It's not like anything interesting happened anyway."

I rolled my eyes. "But you'd have liked it to, wouldn't you?"

He didn't reply, just smirked at me and got to his feet. He walked over to the now boiled kettle.

"So, come on. Lets just pretend for a moment." I started. I had no idea why I was saying this, or why it had even come into my head. It was almost like a word vomit.

He looked over his shoulder at me.

"If we had done something last night-"

"-like?" He cut in.

"You know exactly what." I told him. "What would you have done this morning?"

He picked up his cup and came back to take a seat at the table. "Nothing different to what I already did."

"So you're always this gentlemanly then?"

"Only when a stunning girl like you has been in my bed." He smirked and I felt a blush creep up onto my cheeks. I didn't know what to say, one minute I'd had word vomit, the next I was speechless.

* * *

We sat in silence as we finished our drinks, then I got up and collected my things together.

"You ready?" He called from the hallway. I picked up my bag and then looked at my heels.

"Shit, Smithy, I think you'll have to carry me to the car.."

His head popped around the door. "What? Why?"

"I'm not walking out of the house with trackies and a pair of high heels on. Plus my feet still hurt."

He sighed. "You're lucky that I like you."

I smiled at him and picked up my shoes. We both walked to the door and Smithy sighed again before picking me up like he had last night. I reached out and opened the door for him, and he carried me out, down the four steps and across the pathway to the car. He struggled to open the door, then dropped me into the passenger seat. He then went back to lock the front door, then climbed into the drivers seat.

We made minor chat as he drove me to the pub to collect my car. I unplugged myself and opened the door, when he started to get out. "What are you doing?" I questioned.

"Well I'm not going to let you walk bare foot across a pub car park am I? Countless bottles have been smashed on here!" He shut his door and walked round to me. Yet again, he lifted me into his arms and then walked over to my car.

I scrambled through my bag, looking for keys.

"Hurry up will you, I'm getting an arm ache!"

I looked up at him. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

"I'm saying that I could do without carrying you around this morning, never mind waiting for you to bloody find your keys as well!" He walked round to the front of the car and sat on the bonnet. "Give it here." He took my bag from me and dug around for my keys.

"You know it's rude to look in a woman's hand bag." I told him.

"Hiding something?"

"Not at all." I smirked. "Why? Worried what you might find?"

He shook his head. "I know by now that I can expect anything from you." He stated, a smirk playing on his lips. "Aha!" He cried, pulling out my keys.

"What was that supposed to mean?" I questioned, snatching the keys from him. "I think that's twice you've insulted me in less than five minutes!"

He chuckled and held his arms out. I picked up my bag and shoes and he lifted me up again, except this time I wrapped my legs around his waist and he placed his arms around mine. I pressed the button on my keys to unlock the car and he walked around, opened the door and bent down to lower me in.

I twisted and placed my bag and shoes on the passenger seat, then turned back to see that he still hadn't moved.

"Put your shoes on to drive." He told me.

"Yes sir." I mumbled sarcastically, grinning at him.

He grinned back. "Only looking out for you."

"I don't need you to. I can look after myself."

"I'll remember that." He stepped back and stood up properly. "Have a good day, Roxie."

"You too."


	6. Chapter 6

**I told my friends today that I spent all weekend watching The Bill... They laughed then asked me what I would do in particular situations... Let's just say I have a very active imagination... Haha.**

* * *

A few weeks passed and Becca had been fine about me staying at her Brother's, as long as it was just a place to kip if I was too skint or drunk to go home.. Not that I would have been making a habit of going on the piss with Smithy anyway.

I didn't hear anything from any of the officers until the first weekend of June when I got a text from Beth, asking if I wanted to meet her and Sally for drink. I'd really enjoyed meeting Beth and chatting with her on that night, so I was more than up for going out with them! I also wanted to see how Sally was doing since the funeral three and a half weeks back. We all made plans to meet at the same pub as last time, on the Saturday night at six. Beth said that Sally would meet me there as her shift finished an hour earlier.

I looked in the rear-view mirror and double checked my hair was in the right parting, seeings as it was to the side instead of the middle for once. At home I'd gently curled the very ends of my hair, before doing my make-up and putting on my tight fitting zip up black dress. Of course this time, I hadn't slid a pair of heels onto my feet, still dreading the last time. I'd put on a pair of silver gladiator sandals that matched my small silver shoulder bag. Once I was happy that I looked fine, I climbed out of the car and headed into the pub, locking my car behind me. As I entered, my eyes searched the room for the blonde officer that was waiting for me, and I was relieved to see her sat in the corner, drink in hand, smiling at me. I walked over to her and sat on the chair opposite.

"Hello!" I smiled at her.

"Roxanne, how are you?" Sally asked before taking a sip of her drink.

"I'm alright, before I ask you how you are, do you want another drink?" I asked.

"Vodka and coke please."

"Okay." I smiled at her then got to my feet and headed over to the bar. I ordered Sally's drink, then a Malibu and coke for me. I lent against the bar whilst I waited.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my lower back and jumped. I quickly stood up straight and snapped my head round to see who it was.

"Roxanne Waters." He said, a grin on his face.

I took hold of his hand and pulled it off of me, then placed it on the bar. "I'd prefer it if you kept your hands to yourself Sergeant Smith." I smiled at him.

"I'll remember that next time you want me to carry you to your car." Smithy said.

"Well I doubt I'll be needing you to do that again." I stated. The barman placed the glasses in front of me and I passed him the exact money. I picked up the glasses, then turned back to Smithy. "I'll see you soon."

"See ya." He smiled at me and I turned and walked away. I placed Sally and I's glasses on the table and sat back in my seat.

"What's going on with you two?" Sally questioned.

"Nothing. He had to help me a few weeks ago and thinks its funny to wind me up." I told her.

She raised an eyebrow, but didn't question it any further. "Thank you for the drink."

"It's alright. How have you been since the funeral?"

"Fine I guess. I feel more at peace now, like now Emma's resting comfortably I can relax. I also know that she'd want me to be going out and doing all these normal things, if I sat at home I could imagine her wanting to drag me out of the house and straight down the pub." She smiled to herself.

"That's good. You're moving on. Of course she'll always be in your thoughts, but it's good to see you continuing with your life, even if she can't be here with you." I told her.

She nodded and took a sip of her drink. "Anyway, I didn't come here to have another counselling session... Anything interesting going on in that life of yours?"

"Not really, it's the same everyday for me to be honest."

"Really? Nothing exciting?"

I shook my head. I really did have a boring life.

"Oh. Well that makes two of us. I'm sure Beth'll have something good to tell us when she gets here?"

We finished our drinks just as Beth arrived and Sally offered to buy the next round. We told her what we wanted, then Beth sat down on the chair next to me and smiled.

"You alright?" She asked.

"Fine. You?"

"Yeah, I'm good." She slid her coat off and left it hanging over the back of the chair. "I hope you and Sally haven't drunk too much already!"

"Sally's had two, I've had one. Don't worry, I'm sure you can catch up." I smiled at her.

Sally came back over with the glasses and sat them all down. "There we go."

I slid mine towards me. "Thanks."

Beth thanked her for the drink then took a good few mouthfuls.

"Steady there, Green. Stressful day?" Sally asked.

"Don't even get me started!" Beth grumbled, taking another mouthful from her glass.

Sally patted her arm sympathetically. "All part of being a police officer!" She said.

I smiled and took a sip of my drink. I was about to take another when I heard my name being called out.

"Roxanne, come over here!" It was Ben.

I turned and looked to Sally and Beth confused, then got up and walked over to the table of male officers.

"Honestly, she wiped the table with Nate." Ben was telling the other officers. He looked up at me. "Reckon you could beat this lot at a downing contest?"

Beth and Sally were now at my side.

"Of course I can. You just said so yourself that I wiped the table with Nate, why not the rest of them?" I answered, a grin on my face.

"Someone get a fresh round of pints then!" One of them shouted.

No one stood up or offered.

Smithy sighed. "Suppose it'll be me again then won't it." He got up and walked over to the bar.

"Are you sure about this?" Sally questioned.

"Honestly Sal, you didn't see her that night! I have no doubt that she'll do it!" Beth answered for me.

I nodded then turned to the officers, "What d'ya say about turning this into a little bet?" I grinned before continuing. "If any of you win, I'll stand down and admit I'm not that good. If I win, you have to all give me a fiver each, deal?"

A few 'deal' and 'okay' 's were mumbled and I nodded. Smithy returned with the tray of pints and everyone helped themselves. Smithy picked one up and handed it to me.

"Thank you." I smiled and took it from him.

"Smithy we've all made a bet, she loses she gets the embarrassment, she wins we all give her a fiver, you in?" One of the officers filled him in.

He shook his head. "Not this one. I know what she's like, and she'll never let me forget it if I bet against her and lose."

I smirked at him. Wow, he had me to a tee.

"Alright, everyone ready?" Ben asked. Everyone got their pints in their hands. "On the count of three. One... Two... Three!"

As soon as I heard three, I brought the glass to my lips and let the liquid pour through my mouth and down my throat. I downed it as quickly as I possibly could, then slammed my glass down on the table. Yet again, I'd beat police officers at a downing contest.

A few people gave a little clap and Sally, Smithy and Beth laughed.

"I told you didn't I?" Ben said, grinning.

I wiped my mouth. "Come on then lads, money please." I held my hand out, waiting for the five pound notes. I ended up with thirty five pounds.. Not bad.

"Where did you find her?" One of the officers asked.

"Must have been in a pub!" Another one called out.

"Actually if you must know, she was called into the station to do counselling sessions after Emma died." Smithy said.

"So she is civilized then?" The first one that had spoke questioned, jokingly.

"House-trained and everything." Smithy smirked, knowing it would piss me off how he talked about me like I was an animal.

"Oi!" I gently slapped his arm. "You wouldn't bloody know if I'm 'house trained' anyway."

"Well keeping my shower clean, and making yourself breakfast then cleaning up after seems to be pretty house-trained."

I saw Beth and Sally exchange looks.

"So she's the one that you disappeared with a few weeks ago!" One of the officers shouted out.

"Yes, Callum, we disappeared, but only to see my sister." Smithy said.

"Meeting the family already?" Callum raised an eyebrow and a few of the officer's mumbled an 'ooo'.

I rolled my eyes. "So Callum, you think you know everything?" I questioned and walked around the table towards him. I heard an 'his in for it now' and tried to hold back a laugh.

"I never said that.." Callum looked up at me.

"Well then, don't make comments about a situation you know nothing about.." I told him, before leaning down and whispering something in his ear. When I stood up and turned around again, I saw Smithy raise an eyebrow at me, wondering what I'd told Callum. I smirked and walked away, back over to my table.

Beth and Sally followed and we all sat back down.

"What did you just say to Callum?" Beth asked.

"Oh nothing really.." I shrugged.

"From the look on his face, it wasn't just nothing." Sally said.

I bit my lip to hold back a laugh and shook my head. "Honestly, don't worry. I just wanted to wind him up."

Beth sighed. "Fine! I'll get it out of you later though!"

I smiled at her. "Probably."

* * *

We finished our drinks and each brought a round of shots. It didn't take long for us to finish them, and Beth headed up to the bar to get more drinks. Sally excused herself and went to the toilet, so I sat back and checked my phone. As expected, I only had a text from Becca. Shaun had taken her away to Paris for the weekend, and to say that I was jealous was more than an understatement!

I was dragged away from my thoughts by Smithy sitting down in Sally's chair. "What did you say to Callum?"

"Hi Roxie, you okay? Yeah good.." I muttered sarcastically.

He glared at me, then replaced it with a smile. "Sorry Roxie, you okay?" He was sarcastic back.

"God alright! No need to be so sarcastic!" I teased.

He rolled his eyes and sighed before asking again. "What did you say to Callum?"

"Well, let's just say that you might get a few questions about me, but it was so hard to not wind him up!"

Smithy narrowed his eyes. "Tell me what you said?"

I tried to hold back my laugh. "I said, 'Don't be jealous because Smithy's got a bigger cock than you'. I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist it!"

A smile spread across his face and he also tried to hold back a laugh. "Okay. I'll go along with this... One question?"

"Yes?"

"Have you actually seen his.." He trailed off, knowing that I'd understand.

I laughed this time. "Of course not! I didn't even know who he was until tonight.. But hey! It bloody shut him up didn't it?"

Smithy laughed too. "You're so..." He hesitated. "I don't even know how to say it..."

"I'm what?"

"I don't know... I never know what to expect from you. You're a bit of minx really."

I laughed, then bit down on my bottom lip. I looked over to the group of male officers, Callum was looking over. "I think you're wanted Sergeant Smith." I looked back at Smithy as he glanced over at Callum.

"I'll see you later then." He smiled at me and got to his feet.

I nodded and watched as he walked away. Beth came and sat back down, placing the glasses on the table as she did so. "I told you that he's got a thing for you."

I shook my head. "Don't be silly. He just wanted to know why Callum's being a moody fuck now." Well, he hadn't quite called him a moody fuck, but from the expression on Callum's face, he wasn't absolutely buzzing was he?

"And why is he? Because of what you said?" Beth questioned. I nodded. "Are you going to tell me yet?"

"Maybe later."

Sally came and sat back down. "The bloody rowdiest woman is in the toilet.. I've never heard the C word so many times in my life! Her friends think she's hilarious!"

I let out a little laugh. "Clearly you've never spent a night down in Essex. It's all you will hear, especially the part where I'm from!"

Sally and Beth laughed. Suddenly we were interrupted by Ben.

"We're all heading into town again, wondered if you wanted to join us?" He asked, looking at each of us.

I looked at Beth and Sally. "I don't mind. Last time was quite enjoyable."

Sally nodded at Beth.

"Yeah alright. You leaving now?" Beth asked.

He nodded. "We're all going to the toilet and finishing our drinks so will be off any minute."

"Okay." Beth smiled and Ben made his way back over to the table.

"Come on then girls, down your drinks! We've got a good night a head of us."

"I'm sure you have." Beth said, nodding in the direction of the lads. Sally and I looked up and Smithy was looking at me.

I turned back to Beth and shook my head. "Not gonna happen." I stated, before picking up my glass and downing the contents.


	7. Chapter 7

We finished our drinks, then gathered our things and headed over to the others' table. They were all standing up and getting ready to leave.

"Joining us then ladies?" One of the men asked.

"Yes we are, Will." Sally smiled. I looked up at Will and remembered to take mental note of who he was, just in case I ever saw him again. I had no problem remembering Callum's name, he had acted like a dick from the moment that I met him, and I was definitely not going to forget that.

I stood on Beth's right, waiting for everyone to get ready and watched a few of the men as they stood up. I lent closer to Beth and whispered; "What one's are single?"

She smiled at me and whispered back; "Will, Callum, Ben and Smithy. I'm not sure about Danny, he's always on and off with his bird."

I nodded and took in what she said. I didn't really think any of them were for me..

"Ready?" Callum asked everyone. A few people mumbled 'yes' and others nodded. Everyone headed out of the door.

We all slowly walked through the car park and down the hill. I was listening to Sally, Beth and Will talking about something, when I felt an arm snake around my neck. I turned and looked to my right. "Alright?" I said to Smithy.

He smiled and nodded. "Callum didn't ask anything, but I'm sure he will later on.. or maybe tomorrow."

"He seems like a bit of a pain in the arse..."

"He can be." Smithy grumbled.

"Why do you put up with him then?"

"Work purposes. It's hard having to work with someone I dislike."

"I suppose so." I mumbled. We walked in silence for second, before speaking again.

"I'm gonna need my clothes back soon." He said.

"Oh yeah, I forgot I had them.. I washed them then just put them away in a drawer so that I wouldn't misplace them." I told him.

"At least they're clean."

I pushed him in the side of the ribs. "Oi! Are you saying I'm dirty?!"

He raised an eyebrow and a smirk started to play on his lips.

"I should have rephrased that before saying it..." I mumbled. "But you, you have such a disgusting mind!"

He chuckled. "I didn't say it!"

"No but you thought it." I replied. He chuckled again. "See, no denying it either..."

Smithy didn't reply and gave me a look to tell me to look over at Beth, Sally and Will.

"I told you he liked her..." Beth mumbled to Sally.

"It's cute!" Sally quietly said back.

I turned back to Smithy and smiled at him awkwardly before pushing him away from me. He removed his arm from around my neck. I stepped closer to Beth. "Do I feel my ears burning?"

Beth and Sally looked at me, a little embarrassed at being caught out talking about me. I laughed, to make them feel comfortable, I'm sure they didn't mean it in a mean way.

Smithy had slowed down a bit and was walking with Ben and a few other blokes. "Roxie!" He called.

I looked over my shoulder at him.

"You never answered... When will I get my clothes back?" He smirked, knowing that it would spark up questions in peoples heads.

I narrowed my eyes at him and tried to hide my grin. "I'll give them to your sister."

* * *

We got into the club at just gone eleven. We all went up to the bar upstairs and did a few rounds of shots. As I drank them, I thought back to the time that Smithy and I played that game.. I actually found out quite a bit about him.. Most of mine had been 'bull shits' though, so he didn't find out much about me. Ha.

Love in this club by Usher started to play through the loud speakers, and I was quite surprised that the DJ hadn't remixed it to give it a faster beat. I looked over to Sally and Beth, and they were dancing by the bar. I smiled and walked over to them.

"Come on you two, if you're gonna dance you have to do it on the dance floor, not next to the bar!" I told them, taking hold of their hands and pushing our way through the crowds to the dance floor.

The three of us danced together, wiggling our hips a little and swaying along to the music. I sang along to the song, still dancing, looking around to see who was there and if I knew anyone. Unfortunately, the only people I could see were the male officers, sliding their way through the crowd to us. It was like a swarm of them. I smiled to myself and remembered to keep that thought to myself, I don't think that they'd be too happy about that comment.

The song changed and we continued to dance, the male officers joining in too. I could see the single one's eyes' scanning around the room, looking at the women dancing and praying that they'd find a fit single one. It was so obvious that most of them were just out on the pull.

After a few minutes I gave up on dancing and walked back over to the bar. I ordered myself a cocktail then lent back on the bar, sipping the cocktail through a straw. The barman made a little bit of chat with me, then the bar got busy again and he had to serve. I watched a few people dancing and drank my drink as quickly as possible.

By the time I had finished it, I was definitely pissed. I turned around and got myself some more shots, then headed back up to the dance floor to find the others. I passed Callum on the way and he grabbed my arm and spoke into my ear. "Don't fuck Smithy about, alright?"

I frowned and gave him a blank look. "Smithy and I aren't your concern." I replied and pulled away from him, walking back to the others. One minute Callum had acted like he hated Smithy, the next he was trying to protect him? Not that it mattered anyway. Smithy and I weren't anything more than friends.

I found the others again and continued to dance with them. Some how Beth and Sally had gotten a drink and were sharing it between them. Beth turned to me and held the glass out to offer me some. I took it from her and downed the last of it, then gave the glass back. The pair of them blinked in shock and Sally lent forwards and spoke to me.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

"Fine." I lied. Callum had really pissed me off, and I didn't have a clue why.

We all danced for a bit longer, the group slowly moving closer to the steps. After a little while, Beth and Sally decided to go and get another drink. I didn't want to go so I continued dancing, turning to Will and miming the lyrics to him, pulling ridiculous faces as I did so. At first he laughed, then joined in. I noticed Callum return and stand next to Smithy. They started to talk, the pair of them looking in my direction, making my mood even worse than it already was. I grabbed Will's shirt and span him around so that there was a barrier of him and Ben between myself and the pair staring at me. It was bad enough that I was in a foul mood, I didn't want to do something I regretted, like punching Callum in the face for being such a prick.

Beth and Sally returned, with an extra drink for me. I smiled and thanked them, then took it and took a few gulps.

"Slow down!" Beth cried, a smile on her face. I danced with them and Will until Callum and Smithy danced their way over.

Callum didn't say anything at first, just looked up at the young girl on the pole as he danced. Eventually he spoke. "Look at that girl on the pole, acting like a right slapper."

I shot him a glare and downed the rest of my drink. Did this man never have anything positive to say?!

A few minutes later, the young girl got down off the pole and made her way down the steps to the dance floor. As Come on girl by Taio Cruz started to play, I had an urge to go up on the pole, because I knew it would be something that Callum wouldn't like, after all he had just bashed that girl for doing it. I stood for a few seconds, thinking about it, then handed Callum my now empty glass and headed over to the pole. I climbed up the steps then gripped hold of it, starting to roll my hips. I thought back to the time that Becca and I had taken pole-fitness lessons. It wasn't supposed to be a sexy thing, but Becca and I had included a few of our own moves to our routines, and they were perfect for now. As the song played, I span around the pole, rippling my body. I looked over to the group every now and again, and as expected Callum didn't look impressed. Beth and Sally appeared to be a little in shock, and a few of the others seemed a bit in awe. Although Smithy was no where to be seen. I continued to dance and slut-dropped every now and again, before I heard that familiar voice.

"Roxie!" Smithy called. I looked down and he was stood at the bottom of the steps looking up at me. "Get down? Please?"

"Why?" I called back.

"Because every bloke in here can see your knickers and I think you've proved a point now." He said, I could only just hear him over the music, so I did as I was told and got down.

He held his hand out and helped me down the stairs, then smiled at me.

"What point?" I asked him.

He rolled his eyes. "I know that you were just trying to do what Callum didn't like because you dislike him! I know you too well."

He had it right, but he didn't know me as well as he made out. "You don't know me as well as you think."

"Well maybe if you spent more time down here talking to me instead of flashing your undies to every bloke in here then I might do!" He said, pulling me through the crowds back to the others. I couldn't be bothered to come up with a witty reply, so sighed and smiled at him. He smiled back.

We reached the group and he kept hold of my hand. For some reason, I felt like he didn't want to let go because he didn't want to lose me, but I knew as soon as the thought arrived in my mind that I was being stupid. Beth and Sally looked at me.

"I can't believe you just did that!" Sally cried, not sure whether to laugh or not.

I grinned and shrugged.

Beth still looked completely in shock. "You did realize that everyone could see your knickers?"

"Which there was hardly any of!" Sally said, referring to my practically see through white panties that I was wearing.

"Yeah Smithy told me when he talked me down."

Beth laughed. "I don't know why he talked you down... He had a full on front row view! I'm surprised he didn't enjoy it." She said, quiet enough for Smithy to not hear, but loud enough for Sally and I to hear it over the music.

"Oh he did enjoy it, but he didn't want anyone else to get the same view as him!" Will teased as he brushed past.

Sally nodded in agreement.

I shook my head. "Guys, stop. He isn't interested." I slurred.

"Then why is he still holding your hand?" Sally said. I looked down at our hands, and I wanted to let go... But I didn't. I couldn't.

Beth and Sally looked at me with that kind of 'there. see.' look, and I didn't bother to argue back.

I turned to go to the bar and Smithy pulled me back again. "Where are you going?" He asked.

"To the bar..."

"Rox, I think you've had enough to drink."

"Don't be silly, I'm fine. I can take plenty more!"

He shook his head. "I'm going to take you home."

I groaned. "No don't! Ugh. I stayed out for you the other week, you should do the same for me!"

"Yeah but there's a difference now, Rox."

"How is there?!" I snapped.

"Well for a start, I wasn't as drunk as you are now... And you just flashed your knickers to half the club! If you'd have done that last time, I'd have taken you home."

I grumbled and looked down at our hands, they were still interlocked. I stared at them, telling myself to let go and hide somewhere from him, but I just couldn't. It was strange, seriously strange.

"So, am I allowed to take ya, or will I be carrying you again?"

"Fine. Come on then." I grumbled.


	8. Chapter 8

The cab ride back to mine was a little awkward. We didn't speak, partly because I was a little pissed off with him for making me leave, and partly because he hadn't said anything to me yet. He still had hold of my hand, he hadn't let go since we'd been inside the club. I sat and looked out of the window, looking at everyone in town walking around in groups, wishing I could still be out there. On the plus side I still had an unopened bottle of vodka at home, and there was no way on earth that it was going to remain full when I got home.

It was a short journey to mine and the taxi pulled up out the front of the block of flats. Smithy paid the driver, then helped me out. We walked up to the door and I dug around in my bag for my keys. It took a few seconds, before I grabbed them and shoved them into the key hole. I twisted it and the door opened, then I pulled the keys out and headed up the stairs.

"Please tell me you don't live on the like eighth floor..." Smithy mumbled.

"Luckily for you, it's the first floor." I said, climbing up the last two steps and crossing the hall to my flat. I pushed the keys into the door and unlocked it, then let Smithy in whilst I pulled the keys back out. I pushed the door shut behind us, then went into the kitchen.

"Nice place..." Smithy said as he followed me.

"Thanks." I smiled at him and got out two glasses, the vodka and a bottle of coke. "Drink?"

"Roxie..."

I turned around to look at him. "If you're going to say it's a bad idea, or tell me that I'm not allowed to drink anymore, then you can just fuck off because I'm doing it anyway."

He sighed and held his hands up in defeat. "Fine. It's your body, not mine."

I turned back to the glasses and filled them both up, half with vodka, the other half coke. I picked them up and handed one to Smithy.

"I didn't say that I wanted a drink."

"Tough. You've got one now."

He sighed and took it. I walked into the living room and he followed. I took a mouthful of my drink, then placed it on the coffee table, before sitting down on the sofa.

He sat next to me. "Has Becca seen you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Absolutely wrecked, and flashing your knickers."

"She normally encourages it, and sometimes joins in. Plus, I'm not wrecked, and why do you keep going on about that?"

He smiled and shook his head. "Well at least I now know what my sister gets up to on a night out... and I don't keep going on about it.."

"Well you do..."

"Don't constantly keep trying to argue with me because you're in a bad mood. I can leave you know?"

"Leave then." I snapped. He sighed and stayed put. I lent forwards and took another mouthful of my drink. "I didn't think you would."

He was quiet for a second. "I just don't want to leave you alone with a big bottle vodka. You could easily puke in your sleep and choke on it."

"Oh so you're planning on staying then?"

He sighed and grabbed his glass, taking a large swig.

I watched him then spoke again. "Well seeings as you are, you might as well get in the right mood."

He took another swig. "What and help you finish that bottle?"

I shrugged. "Why not."

* * *

We had a few more glasses and then I finally gave up after my fourth glass was empty. I lent forwards to place the glass on the table and completely missed it, the glass falling to the carpet. I laughed as Smithy bent over to pick it up and place it on the table. I sat back on the sofa and looked up at the ceiling.

"Good job it weren't full." Smithy said, sitting back too.

I nodded and smiled at him. "What do you reckon Becca's doing right now?" I slurred.

"Hm.." He thought for a second. "She's probably asleep... It is the middle of the night after all."

I bit down on my lip and decided to wind him up. "That's what you think... A romantic weekend away with Shaun? I highly doubt she's sleeping." I looked at him and raised my eyebrows.

He shook his head. "I seriously don't wanna think about that."

"What, your baby sister's sex life?"

He gave me a look as if to tell me to jog on. I laughed and then we both smiled at each other.

"You're such a wind up." He said.

"To you maybe..."

"Oh just to me?" He reached out and grabbed my hips, starting to tickle me.

I screeched and tried to wriggle away from him. "Stop it! Agh!"

He laughed and continued. "I'll only stop when you promise to not wind me up!"

"Okay, fine!" I squealed.

"Promise."

"Ugh, I promise!" I cried, still trying to wriggle away. He laughed again and let go. I shuffled away from him a little and smirked. "Only joking."

He reached out to grab me again, but I jumped to my feet and ran across the room.

"You're in for it now!" He jokingly shouted as he got to his feet and followed me. I started to squeal again and dashed out of the room, into the small hallway. I looked over my shoulder, and he was still following, a grin on his face. I rushed into the bedroom and tried to shut the door, but he pushed on the other side. We struggled for a bit, but he was stronger than me and I jumped out of the way of the door as he gave a final push. He quickly dashed forwards and grabbed me, starting to tickle me again. I screeched and tried to wiggle away again, falling backwards onto the bed.

He stopped tickling me and laughed. "At least I know your weakness now."

I stuck my middle finger up at him, then laid back and caught my breath. He laughed again and sat down next to me.

"I actually hate you." I panted, slowly sitting up.

"Nice to know." He shook his head, a smile on his face.

I looked at him and smiled, and he returned the gesture. We looked at each other for a few seconds, then for some reason I lent in and pressed my lips to his. As soon as I realized what I'd done, I quickly pulled back, blushing.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm not sure what I was thin-" I was cut off by his lips crashing back to mine. My heart pounded, this wasn't right at all.. He was Becca's brother, yet at the same time I couldn't bring myself to pull away. As the kiss deepened, I swung my leg over his lap and straddled him. After a few seconds, I pulled back and reached back to unzip my dress, before bringing my hands back around and pushing him backwards. I lent down to kiss him again, a lot rougher this time. I waited a few seconds before getting to my feet and sliding out of my dress. I let it drop to the floor, then looked up at Smithy. He was smiling, his eyes exploring my body. I climbed back onto the bed and pressed my lips to his again, he gently ran his hands through my hair as our lips massaged each others. I slid my hand up his shirt to feel his toned body, then slowly and teasingly trailed my fingers downwards.

He quickly reached down and placed his hand on top of mine, stopping me. He pulled his lips away from mine and spoke. "Roxie.. don't." He sighed and looked directly into my eyes.

I frowned and pulled my hand away from his. Was he actually rejecting me? I looked down at the bulge in his trousers. "But you have a.." I trailed off.

He reached out and gently pulled my chin up so that I was looking at his face again. "Yeah, and you have no idea how much I want you to do something about it. But not in this state."

I sighed and sat up. I suppose he was right. I turned my head away and looked at the wall, feeling the embarrassment creeping up through my body. As if I'd just tried to force myself onto Becca's brother. I felt him move beside me, then felt his hand on my lower back. I slowly turned my head to look back at him, still quite embarrassed.

He softly smiled at me and moved his hand up to my face. He gently stroked his thumb across my cheek. "Your cheeks are burning... You're embarrassed aren't you?"

I didn't answer, just looked down at the flowery bed sheet.

"Don't be. You didn't do anything wrong." He told me. I looked back up at him and half-heartedly smiled. He lent forwards and kissed my head. I slowly got up and excused myself, heading for the toilet.

When I returned a few minutes later, Smithy had stripped off to his boxer's and was lying on the bed, the sheet's half covering him, half open for me. I walked over and climbed into the bed. I pulled the sheet over myself and laid back, Smithy sliding his arm out as I did so. I gently placed my head on his chest, and he wrapped his arm around me. We were quiet for a few moments.

"I bet Paris is nice." I said, my voice barely audible.

"The city of love." Smithy mumbled.

"Have you ever been in love?"

Smithy hesitated. "Once."

"Why aren't you with her now?"

"She died."

I hesitated about whether to continue asking about her, wondering if it would upset him, then continued anyway. "How?"

"She was shot.. In my arms."

"Oh.. What was her name?"

"Kerry."

I stopped asking questions and just laid there, feeling Smithy's chest rise and fall.

"What about you?"

"What?"

"Have you ever been in love?"

I sighed. I had, but it was one of those teenage first love things. The type where you wanted to be with them forever and you couldn't imagine yourself with anyone else, but it just didn't work that way for me. It never did. "Once."

"Who was he?"

"Just someone I was with in school. He was called Scott."

"School? You've never felt in love since then?"

"No... I've always gone for the wrong type since then." I looked up at him.

He softly smiled and pulled his arm around me a little bit tighter. "Well that makes two of us."


	9. Chapter 9

My eyes slowly flickered open and the brightness of my room almost blinded me. I quickly snapped my eyes shut again and groaned.. Not only had I just gone partially blind, my head was thumping. I needed to stop drinking so much before I damaged my liver too. I felt someone move beside me and snapped my head around to look. Smithy? Was I really that pissed last night that I couldn't even remember getting into bed... Actually, I couldn't even remember anything after dancing with Beth, Will and Sally.

Oh god. What had I done?

I slowly rolled over onto my back and looked up at the ceiling. This was it, I was definitely going to start becoming the designated driver. Alcohol and I were no longer party friends.

_Forget the alcohol._ I told myself._ What the fuck happened last night?!_ I had no clue how I got home, how I ended up in bed, and how the hell Smithy ended up next to me. Luckily, I still had my underwear on, hopefully a good sign.

I laid and mentally cursed myself for being such a bloody piss head, then slowly slid out of the bed and slipped into the dressing gown that was hanging on the back of my bedroom door. I opened the door as quietly as I could and made my way into the kitchen, where I poured myself a glass of water and searched the cupboard for some paracetamol. As soon as I found it, I took two, then wandered into the living room. As soon as I spotted the more than half empty bottle of vodka and two glasses, I started to mentally curse myself again. I must have been more than just a bit drunk, I must have been wrecked. I quickly dashed into the bathroom to look in the mirror, checking for any cuts or bruises, just in case I'd fallen over anywhere and made myself look like a complete moron. Fortunately for me, my body was clear and I wrapped the dressing gown around me again, before running the tap and splashing my face with cold water. I grabbed my make-up wipes from the mirrored cupboard and wiped my panda eyes, then put them away again. I chucked the dirty wipe in the bin, then turned around and opened the bathroom door.

I almost jumped a mile when I saw Smithy stood outside the door in his boxers. "Oh my god, you scared the hell out of me!" I cried.

He smiled apologetically. "I'm sorry... Your phone went off a few times, it woke me up."

"Oh.." I smiled at him and took a step out of the bathroom, towards the bedroom. "You can have a shower if you want, there should be a fresh towel folded on the rack."

He nodded. "Thanks."

It all seemed a little awkward this morning. I didn't really know how to act seeings as I couldn't remember a thing, and I didn't have a clue what he remembered about last night.

I walked towards the bedroom, and he went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him. I sat down on the bed, smiling to myself as I noticed that Smithy had made it once he'd got up. I reached over to the bed side table where my mobile phone was sat and unlocked it. I had three messages from Becca. They'd all been sent within the same minute.

'omg rox you'll never guess what?'  
'I think im gonna cry omg!'  
'Im gonna be Mrs Peters!'

I blinked in shock at the screen. Becca was getting married? Shaun had proposed?! After it sank in a little, I tried to hold back an excited squeal. Oh my god, my best friend was going to get married!

And then I remembered that her brother was in the other room. Had he checked his phone when he woke up? Did he know yet?

I replied to Becca congratulating her, then waited for Smithy to get out of the shower. After a few minutes I became impatient and walked out into the small hallway. I paused outside of the bathroom door and gently knocked.

"Smithy?" I called.

"Yeah?" He answered.

"Have you heard from Becca this morning?"

"No?" He replied. "Hang on a second, I'm about to get out!"

"Alright." I walked back into the bedroom and got his clothes out of my drawer, figuring that he'd want to put them on. I heard the shower turn off as I laid them down on the bed and then sat next to them, checking my phone again.

Smithy came into the room about a minute later, a towel wrapped around his waist. He picked up last night's trousers and searched through his pockets for his phone. He pulled it out and looked at me. "Why were you asking about Becca?"

"Just see if you have anything from her.."

He looked down at his phone and I watched his face as he read the message that I assumed was from his sister. "Wow..." He mumbled.

I smiled.

"Becca's getting married!"

My smile stretched even bigger. "I'm so excited. Becca and I are going to have so much planning to do!"

He chuckled. "I bet you two have had the whole thing planned for years anyway!"

I shrugged. "All we needed was the perfect husband, and she's found him." He chuckled again and I pushed the clean clothes over to him. "I'll leave you to get ready."

* * *

I sat in the living room with a cup of coffee whilst I waited for him. He didn't take long and wandered through to the living room where he sat down next to me.

"I made you a coffee." I smiled at him and looked over at the cup on the table.

He smiled and lent forwards to pick it up. "Cheers." He sipped it, then sat back and held it in his hands. "So then piss head, how much of last night do you remember?"

I looked down into my coffee. "Hardly anything. Practically nothing after the first few drinks in the club." I heard him quietly laugh and looked up at him. "Oh god, what did I do?"

"What didn't you do?"

I put my cup on the coffee table and sighed. "Tell me..." I grumbled, preparing for the embarrassment.

"Uh, well... You and Callum had a bit of a disagreement, although I do think that it's just a clash of personalities."

I nodded, and listened as he continued.

"And then in your own crazy way you decided to do something you knew he wouldn't like and magically became a pole-dancer." He tried to hold back his smile.

I put my head in my hands. "Oh god.."

"I'm not done yet..." He said.

I looked up at him. "Do I want to hear the rest of it?"

"I think you should..."

"Go ahead then."

"I managed to get you to come down, after all you were flashing your knickers to everyone in the club and I think everyone we were with were just in complete shock. After that I took you home, not without a fight of course, and then when we got back you opened a bottle of vodka." He paused for a second, whilst I let it all sink in, so embarrassed. "And this is the part where it starts to get a bit hazy... Some how we ended up in the bedroom, and you kissed me.."

I screamed at myself in my head for being such a twat, but listened as he continued.

"I remember you trying to apologize.. But I stopped you when I kissed you back. And then you tried to take it further, but I stopped you."

"I am so sorry!" I mumbled, feeling so ashamed of what I had done. "I shouldn't have thrown myself at you like that.."

"You didn't, trust me, you really didn't... But I just didn't want you to feel that I had taken advantage of you."

I looked at him for a second, a little confused. So we'd both wanted to go further, but hadn't.. Thank god. It wasn't that I didn't find Smithy attractive, because I did.. and come to think of it, as I looked at him now, I realized that he was gorgeous, but I just couldn't do it to Becca. It would be strange... Becca and I wouldn't even be able to talk about our sex lives as we always had, like best friends did, because I would have been shagging her brother. I just couldn't see it happening...

I focused back to the present and thought about it for a moment. I really didn't know what to say. "Smithy, I-"

He cut me off. "I know what you're going to say. It would have been weird because of Becca. I guess that was another reason that I stopped you."

I nodded.

"It's fine. I understand."

A feeling of relief washed through me. "Good." I softly smiled at him and he returned the gesture.

* * *

He finished his coffee then stood up. "I suppose I'd better go. I'm working nights this week and I think I'm going to need a bit more sleep."

I smiled at him. "Hm, have fun." I got up too and walked him to the door.

"I had a good night, again." He said.

"Me too, other than really embarrassing myself. Which I think I'll probably need to apologize to the others for too.."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you'll be missing Callum out of that apology though."

"How did you know?!" I pretended to act shocked.

He smiled and I opened the door.

"I'll see you later." He said, looking at me.

"Be careful at work." I told him. He already knew to be careful, he'd been an officer for years, but I still felt an urge to tell him.

"I will." He said, then quickly lent down to kiss my cheek. Without even realizing that I'd done it, I twisted my head so that I caught his lips. The kiss only lasted a second, and when our lips separated, I then realized what I'd done.

"I uh, I'm so-" I started, but he cut me off again.

"Goodbye Roxie." He said, a smile on his face. He stepped out of the door and walked away. I didn't wait until I couldn't see him anymore, I just quickly pushed the door shut and put my back against it. I thumped my head back against the wood and wondered what the hell was wrong with me. I'd just spent ages telling myself that it would be wrong to be with him, telling him that I didn't want to get that close to him, and then I kissed him?! Why the fuck had I done it, what the hell was happening in my mind?!

I slid down the door and sat on the floor, bringing my knees up to my chest. I always knew how to make myself look like a complete and utter idiot.


	10. Chapter 10

Becca returned from Paris at six on Monday morning. I'd agreed to meet her at the airport and drive her home, seeings as Shaun needed to go straight to the bar after something had kicked off at the weekend.

As I waited in the arrivals lounge, I was petrified. I really did want to see Becca, but I was so worried that she'd hate me for throwing myself on her brother. Not that she knew yet... I was still debating with myself as to whether I should tell her or not. Eventually, I'd decided to wait until she'd told me all about her holiday and we'd discussed the engagement and that until I would rethink whether I was going to tell her.

She walked through the gate, hand-in-hand with Shaun, pulling a small case with her spare hand. As soon and she saw me she rushed over and hugged me.

"I missed you!" She cried.

"Aw I missed you too! So come on then, show me the ring!" I pulled out of her hug and looked down at her hand. She lifted it up and I saw the huge diamond ring on her finger. "Oh my god, that's huge! It must have cost a bomb!"

She nodded and grinned. Shaun made his way over and the couple said their goodbyes, then I took Becca's case and walked her to the car.

We spent most of the drive home talking about Paris and how excited we were to start making wedding plans, and then Becca asked the question I was dreading. "What did you do this weekend?"

"Uh, nothing much." I mumbled.

"I saw a few pictures on Facebook of you and some of the Sun Hill officers?"

"Yeah, Beth and Sally invited me out."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, it was alright. I was a bit too pissed to remember much.."

Becca laughed. "That sounds about right!"

I smiled and stopped at the familiar traffic lights, signalling that we were just minutes away from Becca's.

"Was Dale there?" She asked.

I nodded.

"Did he have much to say?"

"Yeah we had a chat.. Can't really remember much."

"Oh.. I'm guessing that he ended up taking you home.. That's why you're being so quiet, right?" Becca questioned. "I've told you, I don't mind if you crash at his, or vice versa... It's just a place to stay!"

The lights turned green and I pulled away as I slowly nodded. It was quiet for a second and then Becca spoke again;

"What is wrong with you Rox? You're so quiet!"

I shrugged. "Nothing, just feeling a bit ill."

"Oh my god... You're pregnant aren't you?!" She cried.

I turned to look at her, a little in shock, was she really that stupid? I shook my head, a smile on my face, trying to hold back a laugh, and looked back at the road. "You know full well that you have to have sex to become pregnant."

She laughed. "Yeah well there could've been some fella that you were keeping secret from me!"

As soon as she said the words, the smile fell from my face. Smithy had popped into my head. Not that he was some secret fella, he wasn't even my fella...

"Well that smile dropped quickly... You do have a secret fella don't you?!"

I shook my head again and turned down Becca's road.

"Don't lie! That's why you've been so funny! You can't keep a secret to save your life! Especially not from me!"

I shook my head again.

"Roxie!" She poked me in the ribs. I sighed and pulled over outside her flat. "Roxie, tell me! You obviously have some bloke that you're hiding!"

"I don't..."

"Who is he?!"

"Becca..." I was starting to get a bit pissed off with her questions.

"No come on, tell me, who's the fella?!"

"No one..."

"It's so obvious! Oh my god you saw him this weekend didn't you?!" She cried. I shook my head. "I bet you do remember that night and you got Smithy to cover for you whilst you met up with your bloke!"

"Becca, there is no bloke!" I stated, getting a little angrier.

"Don't lie, you spent that night with him didn't you?! Come on, who is he?!"

"FOR FUCK SAKE, IT'S YOUR BROTHER!" I shouted. I quickly snapped my mouth shut, realising I'd just made two massive mistakes. Her brother wasn't my fella, I wasn't even sure what he was or what was going on in my mind about him... and I'd just got so angry with Becca and shouted something so insensitive at her. I'd never felt so angry towards Becca before. It was obviously something to do with the way her brother was making me feel...

"So you.. and Smithy..." She mumbled quietly, a frown on her face.

"No it's not like that!" I cried. I had given her the wrong impression completely.

"That's so weird, Roxie."

"But it's not like that!"

"Not like that? So you didn't have sex with my brother the other night?"

I shook my head. "No, no I didn't."

"Then what?" She asked. "You're seriously confusing me, Roxie..."

I stuttered a little, trying to find a way to explain it. She'd only get to understand it from my point of view... He probably saw it a completely different way. "Becca, I wasn't lying when I said I don't remember that night. All I remember is waking up half naked next to your brother.."

"At his?"

"No, at mine. He told me that we'd kissed, and then I tried to take it further and he stopped me.."

"So how did you end up half naked?"

"I don't know.. I guess we just stripped off to get into bed."

She screwed her face up a bit. "That's so weird... My brother and my best friend sharing a bed half naked..."

"Yeah, but.." I sighed. "I don't know.."

It was quiet for a little while and then she also sighed. "You like him don't you..."

I shrugged. "I don't know how I feel."

"Well, it's not as if we're kids and all that stuff is icky... I suppose I could get used to it. It's just a little strange."

"You don't need to give some sort of blessing, it's not like anything will happen."

"Oh, I thought it was me that was really kind of stopping you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, Becca. I just don't want to bother with it right now."

She nodded. "Okay." She smiled softly and looked up at her flat. "Do you want to come in?"

I shook my head. "I've got to go into work at ten, so I need to get ready. I'll call you later though."

"Alright." She gave me a kiss on the cheek, then climbed out of the car.

I waited as she got her case from the boot, then rolled down my window. "Oh and Becca?"

She turned to look at me. "Yeah?"

"Don't tell Smithy about this conversation."

She nodded and continued going into her flat.

* * *

The next few weeks passed slowly. I tried my hardest to not think about Smithy at all. It wasn't that I didn't want to, but I knew that I would just end up over-thinking things and just see it all in a way I shouldn't. I didn't know why I was so bothered about a kiss, or two, anyway? I mean if I'd had sex with him, then it could've been understandable, but it was just a couple of kisses...

Becca announced that she would be having an engagement party on the 2nd of July. I was so excited, because I was always up for a party.. But I knew that I would more than likely have to see Smithy. On the plus side, I had plans to visit my Mum for a few weeks, and I'd be leaving the day after the party. We were going to go to the seaside for the week and spend some quality time together, after all it was just me and my Mum, neither of us had seen my Dad since I was two. It would also give me a bit of time to clear my head, think about what I really felt and get some motherly advice on it all too.

The day of the party rushed around quickly and I helped Becca and Shaun decorate the Bar (Shaun had shut it for the night to have their engagement party) before heading to Becca's to get ready. The party kicked off at seven, and the first thing I did was get myself a pint from the bar to down. I needed some courage in the form of alcohol to help me see Smithy again. At least half of the guest's arrived before he turned up. I was talking to one of Shaun's friends, James - who was rather attractive, when Smithy arrived. James was talking, but all I was doing was staring at Smithy's back as he spoke to his sister and her fiancé.

"Roxie?" James put his hand on my upper arm to get my attention back.

I jumped as I felt the touch and snapped my attention back to him. "Sorry..." I mumbled.

He smiled. "Clearly, you really want to talk to whoever that was that just came through the door.."

I shook my head.

"It's fine, you don't have to talk to me! I'll be here all night." He smiled again.

"So will he." I muttered.

James sighed. "Go. I don't want you to miss your chance of talking to that person then ending up with a black eye from you later!" He joked.

I let out a small laugh. Did I really give off the impression that I was an angry person? And was it really that obvious that I wanted to talk to Smithy?

He gave me a little nudge. "Go on. I'll see you later."

I smiled at him and took a step towards the three people stood by the door. I hesitated, thinking of making an escape to the toilet so that I didn't have to bother with any of this tonight, then I heard Becca's voice.

"Roxie!" She called over the music. I mentally cursed myself for not thinking quicker. Shaun and Smithy turned to look at me and I slowly made my way over to them. I paused next to Smithy, my heart thumping like that little rabbit off of Bambi's left foot.

"Hey stranger." Smithy said, a smile on his face. I smiled at him.

"Didn't Rox do a good job decorating today?" Becca said, looking up at the signs and flowers that she'd wanted me to put out.

"It wasn't me really, you and Shaun did most of it." I mumbled.

"Don't be silly, you did all the hard graft!" Becca cried. I shot her a glare for trying to get me to take all of the credit. "Shaun, let's go and get a drink!"

I knew Becca had called me over for a reason. She hadn't mentioned Smithy and I since the day that I'd picked her up from the airport, but it appeared that during that time she'd started to like the idea of me and her brother getting together. The only reason Becca had called me over was because she knew it was a perfect way to get us alone.

"I'll come with you." I said, smiling.

Becca looked at the drink in my hand. "You've got an almost full glass... Just stay and chat with Dale?" She saidm grabbing Shaun's hand and pulling him away from us. _Bitch_.


	11. Chapter 11

I turned to Smithy and held out my drink to him. "Want some?" I questioned. I bet I looked like a right div.

He shook his head, an amused smile playing on his lips. Of course he didn't want any of my drink, he could easily get his own.. "Thanks anyway."

I smiled, feeling a little awkward. I didn't want to make eye contact with him, knowing that the second that I did, I'd become speechless as my brain did over-time again. I was going to make sure that I avoided looking at his face at all costs.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Alright. You?" I looked down at his shoes and took a mouthful of my drink.

"I'm good. Haven't heard from you in a while.."

"Yeah, I've been crazy busy." I lied.

"Too busy to even send a text?" He teased.

"Look, what do you want Smithy?" I snapped, shocking myself and him at my outburst. I looked up at him, seeing the shocked expression on his face, but still avoiding his eyes. "I- I'm sorry, I'm not sure why that just happened..."

He placed his hand on my shoulder. "It's okay. Clearly you're stressed out about something."

_Yeah, you_. I sighed and looked down at the floor, taking another mouthful of my drink.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asked.

I shook my head.

"Okay, well I need a drink, do you want another?"

I looked at my glass. "Yes please." I downed the last of what was in it and then followed Smithy to the bar. I sat on a stall and waited as he ordered the drinks, then he turned to face me. I kept my eyes fixed on his shirt to avoid his eyes.

"Been up to much?" He asked.

I shrugged. "Work, you know how it is."

"Yeah, I do." He sighed. The barman placed the drinks down and Smithy slid mine to me.

"Thank you." I said and took a sip.

"Should we find a table?"

I nodded. "Okay."

I slipped off of the stall and followed him to an empty table. I sat down opposite him and took another sip of my drink.

Smithy opened his mouth to talk, but was interrupted by someone calling his name. I looked in the direction of the voice and short woman with tied back black hair was making her way over to us.

"Kim." He smiled and stood up. She hugged him, then sat down at our table. He sat back on his seat and glanced at me before looking back at Kim.

"How have you been? It's been so long! You promised to not forget me!"

Smithy chuckled. "I didn't forget you! How could I do that Kimbo?"

I raised an eyebrow at how he called her 'Kimbo' and wondered how they knew each other.

She giggled. "Well you haven't called me in ages!"

"I've been really busy with work, I'll make sure to catch up with you more often." He told her.

I took a mouthful of my drink and wondered when they'd remember that I did exist and I was still sat here.

And just on cue, Kim turned to look at me. "And who's this? New bird?"

"No, no, not my bird." Smithy said. My heart sunk as he said that, it was silly really.

I looked up at Kim. "Roxanne." I said, holding out my hand for her to shake. "I'm a friend of Rebecca's."

She smiled and shook my hand. "Kim. Rebecca's Mum is a client of mine!"

"Client?" I questioned.

"I do her hair and nails." She told me.

I nodded and took another sip of my drink.

"Anyway, I need to go and find Charlie. Nice to see you again Smithy, and to meet you Roxanne." Kim stood up.

"See ya!" Smithy smiled and we both watched her walk away.

"Well she seemed to like you a lot." I mumbled and drank some more from my glass.

He scoffed. "Don't she half?!"

"I see the feeling isn't mutual between you and 'Kimbo'..."

"You picked up on the nickname then! Yeah, she's a bit of a pain in the backside, but I suppose it's always nice to keep the friends of the family sweet. You never know when you might need a cheap hair cut."

I rolled my eyes. Typical Smithy.

He chuckled. I was about to ask him how Beth and the others were, seeings as I hadn't heard from them in a while either, then paused when I heard Becca's voice. She was stood next to the DJ trying to catch everyone's attention. I twisted my body to look at her.

Once everyone was silent, she spoke again. "Shaun and I would like to thank you all for coming tonight. It's amazing to see everyone so excited about our engagement... Either that or the fact that the party is an excuse to get absolutely out of it." She paused for a minute and looked in my direction. "Isn't that right, Rox?" She teased and everyone turned to look at me.

I laughed and stuck my middle finger up at the bride to be. "You won't be tormenting me on your wedding day when I turn up drunk and tell everyone that you can't get married because I'm so in love with you!" I called back, just winding her up.

Everyone laughed. Becca shook her head whilst laughing. "As much as I know how much you love me, I would appreciate it if you kept our relationship quiet... I'm supposed to be getting married to Shaun!" She joked and everyone laughed again. I turned to look at Smithy who was smirking and looking down at the floor. Becca continued to speak: "So, as I was saying.. Shaun and I are so happy to have you all here and whilst I've got everyone's attention, we would like to announce something!"

Smithy's head moved and he looked up at his sister.

_She better not be pregnant! _I thought to myself. I still need a drinking partner, and a married mum wasn't the type that can go out whenever with me..

"Tomorrow morning, I will be leaving to go to Scotland.. Shaun's got some business up there, and we'll be living up there for the next fourteen months!"

My mouth dropped open and I blinked in shock. She was what?! Why didn't she tell me before this?! She couldn't move away and leave me... Becca was one of the only decent people still in my life... If she left I'd have no family in London, no best friends, practically nothing.

I didn't listen to what else she said, just turned back to the table and downed the last of my drink, before getting to my feet and rushing outside. I felt a little sick... I was going to be all alone, one of the only reason's that I'd moved into London was because of Becca, and work, but Becca was the only one who'd made the last five years bearable.

I lent back against the brick wall of the building and sighed.

And then there was her brother. I felt alone just knowing that he would still be here and I wouldn't have contact with him. Of course I wasn't going to keep contact, for the past few weeks I'd found out about what he was doing through his sister.. and if she was leaving, then that was it. I didn't want to call or text him, because I didn't want to feel anything for him. I didn't want to be with my best friend's brother, because it just felt so wrong... Yet at the same time, I now felt like I needed him because Becca wouldn't be there.

My head felt all mushed up and I just needed time to think everything through.

"Roxie?"

I looked to my right and saw Smithy stood by the door.

"Are you alright?" He questioned. I didn't answer and looked up at the sky, it was just starting to get dark. "I'm just as shocked as you are..."

"Why didn't she tell us first?" I mumbled.

He lent against the wall next to me. "I have no idea. She didn't even tell Mum."

I sighed. "I'm going to be so alone."

"Don't be silly, you've got me." He said. "Kind of..."

I looked at him. "Kind of?"

He looked back at me, and for the first time tonight, our eyes met. I bit down on my bottom lip and tried to concentrate on what he was about to say, forgetting any of the thoughts that were creeping into my mind.

"Well, I'll be here if you need me, but not for a few weeks, months maybe."

"What are you on about Smithy?" I questioned, confused.

"You can't tell anyone." He said. I nodded, a silent way of agreeing to keep it quiet. "I was asked to go undercover. I'll be leaving everything behind tomorrow. They told me that I wouldn't be able to contact anyone.. I suppose that's okay seeings as there's only me and Mum anyway."

"But what about Becca?"

"Well now she's going to Scotland, she probably won't message as much anyway!"

"And me..." I whispered, then quickly stopped and changed topic. "Well that makes three of us going away then."

"Where are you going?" He asked. Our eyes hadn't left each other's.

"Me and my Mum are going away for the week." I told him.

"Oh, well have fun." He smiled.

It was silent for a few moments, but our eyes were still engaged in each others.

"Smithy... Please be really careful." I mumbled.

"I will." He replied.

* * *

I drove down to Essex at seven the next morning. I hadn't drunk as much as everyone thought I would. Partly because I knew I had to drive, and the other part because I wanted to remember saying goodbye to Becca.

Everyone was leaving at early hours in the morning, and I helped Becca and Shaun clean up. Smithy and his Mum, Pauline had also stayed to clean up. I felt sick, knowing that it would be the last time I would see Becca in the flesh for fourteen months, and as we hugged goodbye, I couldn't stop the tears falling down my face. She was going to be in another country...

Eventually, I'd finally said my goodbyes and left, my taxi waiting for my outside. I was stopped as I climbed in by Smithy, who'd grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. He'd wrapped his arms around me and I'd stood there and sobbed into him for a minute. I remembered him kissing my head and telling me that everything would be fine. Once I'd calmed down and the taxi driver was well and truly pissed off with waiting, Smithy promised to call me as soon as he withdrew from the undercover work. And then we'd kissed. It was quick, and I knew that it would mess with my head again, but I needed it. I needed him.

I went home and cried some more into my pillow, before eventually falling asleep. I woke up and six and got myself ready to drive to Mum's, still feeling like crap. But I knew that the break would be what I needed, and I knew that Mum would be able to give me advice on everything. She'd prepare me to go back to London, and help me sort my head out.


	12. Chapter 12

I arrived at Mum's a few hours later. I knocked on the door and Mum swung it open before diving into me and giving me the biggest hug.

"Woah, hi Mum!" I giggled and hugged her back. "Missed me?"

"More than anything." She said, as she pulled back. "Your hair has got so long!"

"Nah, it needs a good cut." I shrugged and glanced over my shoulder at my car. "Are we going in mine or yours?"

Mum sighed. "Yours! My bloody thing decided to stop running this morning when I tried to take the dog to Kate's!"

I smiled and shook my head. "I told you to get a new one didn't I?"

"Yes, but my baby was running perfectly until then!"

"Well you can get a new one now, get that old thing scrapped!"

"Never." She said. "Anyway, I had to walk the dog round to Kate's with the bloody cage and bag full of dog stuff, such a pain!" She moved out of the way and let me in.

"Mum, you should have waited, I'd have took him over." I said as I stepped through the door into the hallway.

"It's done now!" Mum smiled. "Do you want a cuppa before we get going?"

"Yes please, I'm gasping!" I said, following her through to the kitchen. As we walked through, I looked around.. Nothing much had changed over the last few years. It felt like forever ago that I lived here, I quite missed it actually.

"So come on you, update me!" Mum said, flicking the kettle on and pulling the cups out.

I sighed and sat down at the round wooden table in the corner.

"That bad?" She questioned, a frown on her face as she joined me at the table.

"Awful." I grumbled. "You know Becca got engaged to that fella, Shaun?"

"Yeah..."

"Well it was their engagement party last night, and she told everyone that she was going away to Scotland for just over a year." I said, swallowing back the lump in my throat.

"She didn't?!" Mum cried in shock.

"Didn't even tell me in advance. Told me at the same time as everyone else."

"That little cow bag!" Mum stood up as the kettle clicked. "I can't believe she didn't tell you first! But then again, Becca was always one to give surprises."

I sighed again. "At first I thought she was going to say she was pregnant... I wish she had said that now."

Mum laughed. "You never know, she might go get pregnant in Scotland!"

I shook my head and groaned. "No, she can only be one or the other!"

Mum made the cups of tea and placed them on the table before sitting back down again. "So when's she going?"

I felt the lump in my throat rise again. "Today." I mumbled quietly.

"Oh.." Mum said, taking a sip of her drink.

I looked up at her, the tears stinging in my eyes. "Mum, I have no one in London." I told her. I didn't want to mention Smithy yet.

She sighed and stood up, walking around to me and pulling me into a hug. "Don't be silly, you! You have loads of people! What about that girl that introduced you to Becca? The lanky ginger one?"

I wiped away a tear and laughed lightly. "You sure know how to describe people don't you!" I sighed. "She got married and fucked off to Spain."

"Spain?! Wish I was that bloody lucky!" Mum cried, shaking her head. She let go of me and sat back down. "Trust me babe, there will always be someone there for you. Either that or you can give up and move home!"

I shook my head. "I'm not giving up."

"Well then! What about work friends?"

"I'm never in the office, I don't really have work friends. And Julia's more of a Mother figure."

"Well what about not in the office? At all the stations? Surely you must have got on well with some coppers?"

I shrugged. Smithy'd popped into my head, but I wasn't going to say that. "There was Beth and Sally... I had a few drinks with them.."

"Give them a ring! If they didn't mind going out for a few drinks with you then I'm sure you can go on to do other things like shopping and talent hunting!" Mum said, raising her eyebrows.

Yet again Smithy popped into my head. "Mum! I can't even, just shut up. You're really not helping!" I laughed.

She laughed too, then took another sip of her drink. "Honestly though, Roxanne. I'm sure Beth and whats-'er-name won't mind having you around!"

I shrugged and drank my tea.

* * *

Mum and I hit the road about ten minutes later, after loading her twenty-thousand bags into the car. I was sure that she thought she was moving, not just going away for a week. We'd decided to hire a caravan in Aldeburgh, just like we had when I was a child. It was a nice place to just get away and relax on the beach.

"So come on, tell me what else is bothering you." Mum spoke up after driving in silence for a few minutes.

"What?"

"There's definitely something else going on in your mind!"

I shrugged. "I don't know what you're on about."

"Roxanne Waters, I know you better than any bloody person on this earth, and I know full well that you are lying to me right now. What is on your mind?"

"Can we just talk about it when we get there? I just want to concentrate on driving right now."

"Don't you try to push it to the side and hope I'll forget." She said, but luckily didn't bring it up again.

We managed to get to the Caravan in nearly two hours and it didn't take long to unload the car and unpack our things. The whole way there I thought about what I was going to say when I did bring up Smithy, because even I didn't know what was going on in my head. I sat on my bed for a minute, staring at my suitcase thinking about how to say what was in my mind, when Mum appeared at the door.

"How about we go and check out that pub down the road?" She asked.

I looked up at her and nodded. "Get ya wellies on!" I joked.

"No way, I'm going down there in these beauties!" She said, lifting her feet up to show me her wedges.

"You're going to snap your ankle one day!"

She scoffed. "You can't bloody talk, look at what's on your feet!"

I looked down at my heels and shrugged. "Yeah, but you're getting old."

"Oi, the cheek of it! I'm only as old as I feel!"

"What's that then?"

"Twenty-one!"

I laughed. "Come on then young lady, lets get going!"

* * *

The week passed fairly slowly. Mum and I had spent a lot of time on the beach in our bikini's, and even though she was forty-five years old, Mum still had it. In fact, people could probably think we're sisters. I prayed that I'd look as good as her in twenty years time!

We'd also been at the pub every night. If I was completely honest, I think Mum had her eye on the landlord. I couldn't see what she did really, but there was no way on earth she'd have worn low cut shirts at home unless she was on the pull.

I'd thought that she'd forgotten to ask about what was on my mind until it got to the last evening and we'd just got our second drink from the bar. As I took a sip and smiled at Mum, she brought it up.

"So come on you, what's on your mind?" She asked. I swallowed what was in my mouth and tried to find the words. "You thought I'd forgotten didn't you?"

"I was hoping you had... I don't really know how to say it."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that I'm not even sure what it is.. It's just him." I mumbled.

"Ah, man troubles!" Mum took a mouthful of her drink, the softly smiled at me. "There ain't nothing you can say about a man that I haven't experienced!"

I smiled back at her. That was true. Mum'd had every type of man that there was, except a decent one.

"So come on then, who is he?"

"He's called Dale... He's uh, Becca's brother."

Mum almost choked on her drink, then laughed. "So you've been fucking your best friend's brother?!" She laughed again.

"No! No." I said, looking at her, my eyes widened slightly. "It's not like that..."

"Can you just tell me kid? It's hard to understand when you're not saying anything."

I sighed and told her everything. Everything that had happened, everything I'd thought, how confused I was.

"Well, he's decent, don't let him get away. Becca's told you she's fine with the pair of you, and actually, if you remember rightly.. she tried pushing you and him together at her engagement party. She's not the problem, babe. The problem is what you want." Mum stated. I frowned, a little confused, yet I knew that the problem was in my head.. I just didn't know what. "I blame myself really. You've seen all these men that I've been with, and every one of them appeared decent at the start, then turned out to be a right arsehole. Your problem is trust. You've got this man here, and he's polite, protective, funny, brave, but you haven't convinced yourself that you can trust him with your heart. You know what his childhood was like from what Becca's told you and you could probably find out anything else you wanted... But you just don't want to get hurt like you saw that I did. Roxanne, if you feel like you're interested in him, then go for it. He might be everything you've ever wanted. And if it doesn't work out, then he'll just be another to add to the list of arsehole's. Don't let what you've seen with me stop you. Not every man is the same."

I nodded and hugged her. I didn't know what to say really.. Was there anything to say? I just needed to think about what she'd said then determine whether I did like Smithy or not.

"Don't let him be the one that got away."

* * *

I got back to London quite late the next day. I hadn't heard anything from Becca or Smithy and I felt my heart break a little. I carried all of my things up to my flat, then left them by the door and flopped down on the sofa.

I'd really wanted Becca to message me. She knew that I was going away with Mum, but I expected a message on my house phone for when I got back. Did she really not miss me? Was she having so much fun in Scotland that I didn't even exist to her anymore?

And Smithy, well I understood why he hadn't messaged or anything. He was undercover and he practically had to leave his life behind. I just hoped that he'd call or something when the undercover operation was over.

I stared up at the ceiling. I couldn't help but feel so alone. It was silly, because I did have people that I could talk to, like Beth.. But I didn't want anyone else. I wanted my best friend. I wanted her brother. I wanted to go back a few months to when everything was perfect and I felt like I had my head screwed on properly. But I didn't have a time-machine. I was stuck here in the present, alone and sobbing on my sofa.

I laid down on my side and grabbed a cushion. I clutched it to my chest, then curled up into a ball on closed my eyes, hoping to wake up to a better tomorrow.


	13. Chapter 13

I pushed myself into work. It was all that I could do. I had nothing else to occupy myself with, and I was a bit bored with the pub now. I spoke to Julia a few days after I arrived home and pushed her for the big stuff, so then I'd have more work to do and less time to think about how lonely I am.

And it worked. For just over a month, I worked all day long, went home ate and slept, then got up and worked again. It was almost like how I'd been when I first got the job, and in some crazy way, I enjoyed all the work. It was extremely long hours, but I loved the job and I was glad to finally just be concentrating on that again.

I was finishing off some paperwork in the office during the middle of July when Julia came over and perched herself on my desk. "Roxanne."

"Julia." I looked up at her.

She smiled at me softly. "We've just had a call, a man with Paranoid Personality Disorder has been arrested for beating his wife, and the FME suggested having someone who knows a lot about the disorder present in interviewing."

"Sounds good, where am I off to?" I said, shuffling forwards in my seat.

"Roxie.. It's at Sun Hill." Julia said. I'd told her everything I'd told Mum when I got back from my little break and she'd said practically the same as my Mum had. She knew everything and had tried to look out for me.

I paused for a second, my heart thumping, and then I remembered that Smithy wasn't back yet, so I'd probably get some shit from Callum. "Okay..." I shrugged. "I'll do it, I don't mind."

I found myself in the reception of Sun Hill Police Station half an hour later. I was leaning against the front desk chatting to the receptionist, praying that I'd be lucky and not have to see Callum at all.

I heard the door buzz open and looked over to see Sally grinning at me. I let out a sigh of relief and smiled at her.

"Hey you!" She said. "Haven't seen you in a while!"

I nodded and walked over to her, remembering the last time we'd seen each other and how much I'd embarrassed myself. "I was hiding under a rock embarrassed as hell." I mumbled, wondering if Smithy'd told her or anyone else about the pair of us that night.

Sally laughed and buzzed us through, then looked at me as we walked down the corridor. "I wouldn't worry about the embarrassment too much, I think most of us have forgotten by now."

"Roxie!" I heard my name and looked to the door on my left. Will was walking towards Sally and I. "I see you've got your bits covered today." He teased, which earned a slap on the arm.

"I hate you!" I cried.

"Oi, I could do you for assaulting a police officer!" Will stated, winking at me.

"I'll do more than bloody assault you in a minute if you don't shut it!" I cried and looked back at Sally who was giggling. "I thought you said that everyone had forgotten!"

She shrugged. "They had, William here just remembers the things he likes!" She teased.

Will chuckled. "I don't think so, Smithy wouldn't be too pleased about that!"

My heart pounded at the mention of his name. "Smithy?" I questioned.

Will chuckled again and walked in the other direction.

"Will?!" I called after him and he looked back and winked. I turned back to Sally as we walked along. "What is he on about Smithy for?"

She shrugged. "No idea."

"Don't lie to me." I warned her, raising my eye brows.

She sighed. "Smithy was really protective of you that night, that's all. I guess we all read into it too much."

"Oh." I mumbled and looked down at the floor.

"Okay, so, onto work business." Sally said, pausing. "DC Banks, or Banksy as everyone calls him, will be here in a minute to explain it all to you, then you'll go into the interview with him."

"Alright." I looked back up and smiled at her. We waited for a good few minutes and Banksy still hadn't showed.

Sally frowned and sighed. "Come on, lets go up to CID and look for him." She said, leading me further down the corridor and around the corner.

Suddenly, someone called Sally's name and she paused. "Yes Sarge?" She turned to look at the older blonde woman behind us.

"You're needed on the Jasmine Allen. Go with Mel, she's waiting by the car. Hurry please."

Sally nodded. "Yes Sarge." She turned back to me. "I'm sorry Roxie, work calls! Just go up the stairs at the end of the corridor, then through the double doors on your left. Banksy is tall, dark skinned, bald head, you won't miss him! If you don't see him then ask someone!" She said in a hurry. "I'll see you later, Roxie!"

"See ya!" I smiled at her and watched as she hurried off in the opposite direction. I then turned and headed towards the stairs, I got to the bottom and then heard Smithy's voice.

"Look erm, can we draw a line under me and you?"

I paused and listened, my heart pounding, wondering who he was talking to.

"Yeah." I heard a woman say. It was quiet for a moment, so I silently climbed up a few steps to be nosy. My heart sunk a little when I saw him kissing a short blonde woman.

After a second, he pulled away and sighed. "I thought we just agreed..."

"Yeah, well erm, I was just saying goodbye to Lawrence." The blonde replied.

I slowly stepped back down to the bottom of the stair case, praying that it would be her that walks down the stairs, not Smithy. I really didn't want to talk to him right now.

"Before boring old Dale comes back on duty." I heard her finish, then heard the two of them moving. Smithy paused at the middle of the stairs and looked up, a smile on his face. I watched him for a second, then started to walk up the steps again, remembering why I was here.

"Roxie?" Smithy questioned.

I swallowed and looked up at him. "Smithy..." I continued to walk and didn't pause to talk to him. "I can't stop, I need to find Banksy."

"Oh..." He said, watching me walk up the steps. "I'll er, talk to you later then?"

"Mhm." I mumbled and rushed into the double doors on my left, feeling awkward and trying not to burst into tears. Yep, he was now the one that got away. I sighed, feeling so jealous of the blonde.

I looked up and Callum was walking towards me. "Banksy got called away. I've got permission to do the interview as long as I fill him in after." He spoke.

"Great." I muttered under my breath. Today was getting better and better.. "Details then?"

* * *

Callum filled me in on the situation and what had happened so far, then took me into the interview room. Riley Anderson, the suspect was sat at the table on his own, another officer leaving as we entered. Callum turned on the tape and stated who was present, then we sat the opposite side of the table to Riley.

"Mr Anderson. We believe that you and your wife had an argument this morning before she was assaulted, is this correct?" Callum asked.

"Are you saying that I argued and then assaulted her?!" He snapped, he turned to look at me. "Is he accusing me of assaulting my wife?!"

"Mr Anderson, I'm not saying that at all. If you could calm down-"

"Calm down?! You're accusing me of assaulting my wife!?"

Callum opened his mouth to speak, but I put my hand on his arm to stop him.

"Mr Anderson, Riley.. Do you mind me calling you that?" I started.

Mr Anderson looked at me narrowing his eyes. "It's fine.."

"Okay." I smiled softly. "Riley, Sergeant Stone isn't accusing you of anything.. He is just trying to find out what happened before your wife was assaulted. He wants your wife to get justice for what happened to her... You do too, don't you?"

He nodded and lent back in his chair slightly, still looking a little tense.

"So, if I may continue." Callum said gruffly. "Did you, or did you not argue with your wife this morning?"

"I did." Riley answered bluntly.

"What about?" Callum questioned.

"Nothing that is any of your business."

Callum sighed. "Mr Anderson, if you don't tell us, then you're in the frame for the assault."

Riley sat up again. "See, he's accusing me of assaulting my wife! I'm not answering to you! And I'm not letting you use that tape against me!"

I sighed, clearly Riley was extremely paranoid and very un-trusting. "Callum, can I have word?"

Callum nodded and got to his feet. "Interview terminated at..." He looked at his watch. "Fourteen, thirty-two." He turned the tape off and we walked to the door. He paused in front of it and spoke in a hushed tone. "What?"

"I was thinking... Mr Anderson doesn't trust you, so what if you let me talk to him?"

"Okay. Come on then, you can ask the questions and I'll just listen."

"No, Callum." I said. "I meant alone.."

He shook his head. "No. Definitely not. You're not even a police officer."

I sighed. "Please Callum, it's the only way we're going to get anything out of him!"

"No."

"You want a result don't you? Just five minutes, you can stand the other side of that mirror, I know that you can see through it."

Callum hesitated. "Fine. Five minutes." He snapped, and looked over at Riley.

"I'm not answering anymore questions with that thing on!" Riley shouted, pointing a finger violently towards the tape.

"Fine. No tape." Callum said. "Roxanne is going to interview you on your own for a few minutes. If you try anything..." Callum warned him.

"Just go." I said to Callum. He sighed and shook his head, but reluctantly left the room. I watched him go, then waited a second before speaking again. "Riley.. Don't think of this as an interview. I just want to chat.. Like we're friends?"

I crossed the room towards the table.

"But we're not friends."

I sat down opposite Riley. "But we can be, if you'd like to?" I smiled softly. "I just want to help you..."

"I don't know you."

"No, but you listened to me earlier... Surely that must mean we could be friends? You trust me a little bit, don't you?" I questioned. He didn't answer. "Okay, so.. I'll let you get to know me. I'm Roxanne, but I like to be called Roxie. I'm twenty six, and I am an only child."

Riley looked at me. "That's boring stuff. Tell me something you'd tell a friend."

I thought for a moment. Callum would get irritated if I spoke about myself for too long, but I needed to gain Riley's trust. "Okay... Something I'd tell a friend?"

Riley nodded.

"I've got something.. Something I've only told two people. There's this man, and I think I love him. He's funny, cute, charming and polite.. I've embarrassed myself far too many times in front of him, and now I think that he just see's me as a sister that he needs to take care of. I saw him with another woman not that long ago, and I think it's too late to tell him how I feel now. He's the one that got away..." I felt a lump rise in my throat, and swallowed it back, trying to keep my mind on the work.

"I'm sorry." Riley said, no longer looking tense.

"So are we friends now?"

He nodded. "Yes, Roxie."

"Okay, so would you tell me what happened this morning?"

"Frankie came home really late last night. I'd sat in bed waiting for hours, I was scared that she was hurt or something, I didn't know what to think really... And then I heard the door and rushed to the top of the stairs. It was Frankie, she'd come in with a big smile on her face, like she was thinking about something." He paused and looked at the table. "I went back to bed and pretended to be asleep. When I got up this morning, she was already up. I went downstairs and she was in the kitchen on the phone. When she heard me coming, she quickly hung up and acted like she hadn't been talking to someone."

"So you were worried that she was hiding something?"

"Almost certain that she was hiding something. I waited until she went to the toilet before looking at her phone. She'd called the same person loads of times in the last few days... Someone called Matt."

I looked at Riley and saw his facial expression change. He looked distraught.

"She'd been cheating on me, I just know it."

"But that's not for certain... Did you ask her about it?"

"Yes. When she came back, she snatched her phone off of me and told me to stop being nosy! I grabbed it back and then asked her who Matt was.. She wouldn't tell me. And then we argued."

"So you were upset because you thought that she cheated on you?"

"Yeah! She was just getting me back for cheating on her last year! But she wasn't supposed to know! She didn't know!" He said, his expression changing again. He had tensed up again and appeared angry. "Her friend told her.."

"How did her friend find out?"

"Friend... Like you're my friend." He said.

"Yes, I'm your friend.. Are you going to finish telling me?"

"Finish telling you?!" He spat through his teeth. His anger was now turned onto me, and I started to feel a little scared. Of course I wasn't going to let him know that. "You're no friend! You're going to run off and tell him, like she did Frankie!"

"No, no, I'm not.." I said, trying not to show the fear in my voice. "I won't tell anyone, like you're not going to tell anyone what I told you about myself..."

He jumped to his feet. "Don't lie to me!" He said.

I quickly looked at the mirror, praying for Callum to come and help me, then looked back at Riley and stood up too. I stepped to the side and away from the table, shaking my head. "I promise... I want to be your friend and just talk, us two only."

"No.." Riley mumbled, stepping in front of me. I'd never realized how tall he was, he towered over me.

I looked up at him. "Just between us, you know."

"You'll tell him.. you will!"

"I won't!"

"Liar!" He shouted and swung his fist back. I cowered backwards and squeezed my eyes shut, seconds before I felt his fist connect to my face. He was strong, it was definitely the most powerful punch that I'd ever taken. I stumbled backwards and let out a little whimper. I felt the wall behind me and slid to the floor, my hand covering where he has just hit me.

"Riley.." I whispered, almost pleading with him. Suddenly, two officers burst through the door and grabbed Riley, dragging him kicking and screaming from the room. I closed my eyes again and started to sob, absolutely petrified.

"Roxie.." I heard Smithy's voice and looked up. If I hadn't of been so strung up on him, then I'd have been able to realize how much danger I was putting myself in. Smithy crouched down next to me and tried to hug me, but I pushed him away.

It took me a few seconds to find my voice, and then I demanded for him to leave me alone.

"Roxie, come on. It's me."

"I know it's you and I want you to go away!" I cried, wiping the tears from my eyes. I just wanted to be left alone. I slowly staggered to my feet and walked towards the door.

"Where are you going? Roxie you need to report this!" Smithy said, following me.

I ignored him and stepped out of the door. He grabbed my arm and I span around and yanked it away from him. "I pushed him too far, and got a punch for it. It was all my fault! Just fuck off!"

He frowned, looking a little hurt.. and then he looked at where I'd been punched. "You need to get that looked at."

I quickly covered it with my hand. "It's fine."

"No." Smithy shook his head and stepped closer to me, pulling my hand away from my face. He looked at it and gently swiped his thumb across it, making me wince a little.

My heart pounded and I stared at him. I wanted him to kiss me, then take me in his arms and tell me that he'd look after me for the rest of our lives.. And then I snapped back to reality and quickly pulled away from him. "You don't need to take care of me! Go away, I can look after myself!"

He dropped his hands to his side and looked at me. "This is serious.. He just assaulted you, you clearly can't look after yourself!"

Something inside of me snapped and I balled up my fists. "Smithy, I am not your little sister, you don't need to look after me! I may always embarrass myself in front of you, but I can look after myself and I don't need you or anyone telling me what to do!" I shouted and turned to leave.

Yet again he grabbed my arm. I twisted back to him and shoved him with all of my might. "Just piss off back to Blondie!" I snapped, not realizing I'd said it until after the words had escaped my mouth. I practically ran away from him, the tears stinging in my eyes. If I had no chance with him before, I definitely didn't now.


	14. Chapter 14

**I really want to try something that I haven't done before.. So part of this chapter will be from Smithy's point of view. But it will probably be the only time I include his POV in this story! :)**

* * *

_I looked down at the blonde walking up the stairs towards me.. Roxanne? What was she doing here?_

_"Roxie?" I said, wondering how she'd been since the last time we'd spoke__._

_She looked up at me. "Smithy.." She said, but continued to walk past me. Why wasn't she stopping? "I can't stop, I need to find Banksy."_

_"Oh..." I mumbled, she must be working. I guess I'd get to catch up with her later, see how she's coped without Rebecca around. "I'll er, talk to you later then?" I watched her walk up the last few steps, then head towards CID._

_"Mhm." She hummed, not even looking back at me. I frowned and watched the door shut behind her. There was something wrong.. I could tell from how hostile she was towards me. I sighed and continued down the stairs, I just needed to go home. _

_As I walked along, it still bothered me how Roxie had acted. She'd never been like that to me before, in fact she was nearly always charming to everyone... Except Callum, they'd got off on the wrong foot though. A bit like Stevie and Mickey had over that parking space..._

_Stevie. If Roxanne had been stood on the stairs a while she could have heard mine and Stevie's conversation.. And kiss. Shit. That's probably what was wrong. Stevie was lovely, and great company whilst I was undercover, but Roxie... She was... Just Roxie. She was beautiful, friendly and straight to the point. Stevie was kind of complicated and a bit of tease, but I did have a soft spot for her. _

_God, if Roxie had still liked me before she saw Stevie and I, then she definitely hated me now._

_But what if it wasn't Stevie that was the problem? What if Roxie hadn't seen it? Was she just pissed off with me for leaving her? It must have been hard for her with Becca gone too... _

_At least I'd be able to explain that one to her, and I'm sure she'd forgive me easier too._

_I sighed. I was supposed to be heading home to get some proper rest after the Undercover Op, but I needed to find out what was going on with Roxie. I don't think I'd even be able to rest until I knew that she didn't hate me. I paused at the front entrance, before turning around and buzzing myself back in. I headed straight back up to CID, looking for the beautiful girl who hadn't left my mind for the past few minutes. _

_"Where's Roxanne?" I asked Grace as soon as I'd stepped through the double doors._

_"Smithy, I thought you were going home?" She questioned, before answering my question. "She's gone down to interview someone with Callum."_

_"I thought she was with Banksy?"_

_"He got called away, so Callum was allowed to do the interview.. Roxanne didn't look too happy though." She told me._

_I shook my head. "She wouldn't. Callum and her aren't exactly the best of buddies."_

_"Oh... Well they're in interview room one."_

_"Thanks Grace!" I said, pushing back through the doors, heading towards the interview rooms._

_I was walking down the corridor when I spotted Callum coming out of the interview room, alone._

_"Where's Roxie?" I questioned. _

_"Come in here." He said, leading me into the room next door. I followed him, then looked through the glass. _

_I saw her crossing the room, talking about friends with some bloke who was hunched over the table. "Why is she in there on her own?"_

_"She practically begged me to let her talk to him alone." _

_"Callum.. She's not even a police officer!"_

_"I know, but if it gets a result.." _

_I sighed and shot him a glare before looking back at Roxie. She was now sat down opposite the bloke._

_"But you listened to me earlier... Surely that must mean that we can be friends? You trust me a little bit, don't you?" she said. The man kept silent._

_"Who is he?" I asked._

_"Riley Anderson. Suspect in the assault of his wife." Callum answered._

_"Oh great, a suspected woman beater, this just gets better!"_

_"I'll let you get to know me... I'm Roxanne, but I like to be called Roxie. I'm twenty-six, and I'm an only child." Roxie said, looking intensely at Riley._

_"That's boring stuff. Tell me something you'd tell a friend." Riley demanded. _

_"She's just going to sit and talk about herself now ain't she? I bloody shouldn't have left her there, she's getting nothing at all!" Callum grumbled._

_I continued to watch. _

_"This is ridiculous. I can see why she's not an officer!"_

_As Roxie spoke, I turned to Callum. "Shut up a second!"_

_"There's this man, and I think I love him." Roxie told Riley. I looked back at her through the glass. "He's funny, cute, charming and polite... I've embarrassed myself far too many times in front of him, and now I think that he see's me as a sister that he needs to take care of. I saw him with another woman not that long ago," _

_I sighed and looked down at the floor, she couldn't be talking about Stevie and I, could she?_

_"and I think it's too late to tell him how I feel now. He's the one that got away..."_

_I sighed. If she was talking about me, then she was wrong. Very wrong. _

_"Who's she on about?" Callum questioned. _

_I shrugged. "Dunno."_

_"Oh... I thought it might be you." _

_I didn't reply, just watched her through the window. Riley was telling her something about his wife, chatting like they were friends. I looked at Callum and he was scribbling down what was being said onto his notepad. I turned back to watch Roxie for a few seconds more, before speaking._

_ "Callum, what would you have done if an extremely drunk bird tried it on with you and you told her no, but you stayed with her and then she told you all about how she's never properly loved anyone... And then she goes away for a while and comes back to the realisation that she loves you?"_

_"If I felt the same then I'd tell her before its too late."_

_"But what if it is too late? What if she got the wrong impression..."_

_"Mate you are seriously confusing me." Callum said, trying to listen to Roxie and Riley at the same time. _

_"Don't worry, it's nothing." I mumbled and looked back through the window as Riley started to raise his voice. "Callum, I don't trust him."_

_"And you think I do? Just give it a minute, she'll calm him down again like she did earlier." Callum said. I never realised he actually had some kind of faith in her._

_Riley jumped to his feet, and Roxie looked at the glass, her eyes pleading for help. My heart practically dived into my mouth. I started to walk to the door and Callum held out an arm to stop me._

_"Just watch for a second longer.. She's still calm."_

_"Callum, are you joking?! She practically just begged for help by looking through that glass!" _

_"You'll tell him.. You will!" I heard Riley's shout and turned back to look at the glass. _

_"I won't!" Roxie cried. She wasn't calm, and Callum and I both knew that._

_"Liar!" Riley yelled, and threw his fist back, my eyes widened and I ran to the door. I yanked it open as I heard the sound of his fist hitting her face. It made me feel sick. _

_I looked at one of the officers that was walking past and pointed to the interview room. "Get him out of there, now!" I ordered, my voice almost a shout. _

_Callum slid past and burst into the room with the other officer. My heart pounded in my chest as they dragged him out of the room, yelling all sorts of abuse. I slowly walked into the room and saw Roxie curled up on the floor against the wall, sobbing. She was terrified. My heart sank in my chest, and I crouched down next to her. _

_"Roxie..." __I put my arms around her and she pushed me away. I looked at her, it wasn't like her to push me away. "Roxie, come on.. It's me."_

_"I know it's you, and I want you to go away!" She replied, slowly and shakily getting to her feet. I watched as she got up and stumbled towards the door. _

_I stood up and looked at her back. "Where are you going? Roxie you need to report this!" When she didn't answer and continued walking, I followed her. After a few seconds, I realized that this was Roxie, and she wasn't going to stop if she didn't want to. I quickly reached out and gently grabbed her arm to stop her. She span around and practically ripped her arm out of reach. What was going on with her? It was almost as if the punch had knocked some sense out of her!_

_"I pushed him too far, and got a punch for it! It was all my fault, just fuck off!" She snapped. _

_I frowned. Why wasn't she letting me help her? Did she not trust me anymore? I stared intensely at her face, then the huge dark patch on her cheek caught my eye. It looked painful. "You need to get that looked at." _

_She lifted her hand to her face and covered it. If she was hoping that the can't see it, doesn't exist thing was going to work right now, she was wrong. "It's fine."_

_I shook my head. "No." I took a step closer to her, hoping that she wouldn't run off. I reached out and gently pulled her hand away from her cheek, looking at the injury up close. The redness of her skin was starting to fade and the dark bruising was coming through quickly. You could see very clearly that it was a fist that had hit her face, the patches where the knuckle had hit a lot darker than the rest. I dropped her arm to her side, then lifted my hand up and softly swiped my finger across her cheek, earning a wince from her. However, she didn't pull away, I could feel her eyes on me... She was staring, almost trance-like. I sighed. I couldn't believe that someone would do this to her... She hadn't said anything wrong to that bloke. If anything, she was the kindest that I'd ever seen her be._

_Suddenly, she yanked away from me and shot me a glare. "You don't need to take care of me! Go away, I can look after myself!"_

_I dropped my hands to my sides and looked at her, frowning again. Was she delusional?! She just got punched by a woman beater and still claims that she can look after herself?! "This is serious... He just assaulted you! You clearly can't look after yourself!"_

_I saw her expression change and realized that I'd made a huge mistake by saying that. _

_She balled up her fists and shouted; "Smithy, I am not your little sister, you don't need to look after me! I may always embarrass myself in front of you, but I can look after myself and I don't need you or anyone telling me what to do!" Before turning around to leave again. _

_Wait, that was what she'd said to Riley wasn't it? About the man she loved? She had been talking about me.._

_I quickly grabbed her arm, and she twisted and shoved me away. I stumbled backwards, looking at her in shock._

_"Just piss off back to Blondie!" She snapped and rushed away. I stood still, watching her run away. She had seen Stevie and I earlier... And everything she'd said to Riley was about me. She loved me. God, this girl was such a head fuck._

* * *

I slammed my front door shut and ran into the kitchen, heading straight to the freezer for an ice pack to put on my cheek.

I'd ran straight out of the station to my car, then headed home. All I wanted to do was sort my face out, then sit and cry.

And that was exactly what I was going to do. I wrapped the ice pack in a tea towel, then held it to my face. I winced and let out a little hiss of pain, then clenched my teeth together until my face started to go numb. It was then that I walked through to the living room, kicked off my shoes and turned the TV on. Luckily for me, I still had The Notebook in my DVD player.. It was a film all about love that made me cry for ages, I needed a good cry. I flopped down onto the sofa and continued to hold the ice pack to my cheek.

I'd had the day from hell and it wasn't even three yet. As if Riley had hit me... As if Callum hadn't helped as soon as he saw him get angry. He probably sat behind the glass laughing at me... I suppose it was my fault for wanting to talk to him alone. I had it coming.

But Smithy... Smithy and that blonde. Mum'd warned me not to leave it until it was too late, but I did. I didn't even know he was back from being undercover.. How was I supposed to tell him if I didn't know where he was?

How had I spoken to him like that? Oh fuck, I was such a bitch. He must hate me... But it was all his fault. Today was his fault. I wouldn't have completely fucked up and been punched in the face if I hadn't spent so much time thinking about him...

I was dragged out of my thoughts by the sound of my buzzer ringing. I ignored it, hoping that the person would just go away, and it was quiet for a little while before they did it again. This time they pressed it a lot, clearly trying to get a reaction from me. I ignored it for a little bit longer before it pissed me off and I stomped over and answered.

"What?!" I snapped.

"Roxie, let me in!" It was Smithy.

"Didn't I make it clear enough that I want you to leave me alone?" I sighed.

"Yes, you made it very clear.. But since when did I actually do something you told me?" He said. "Just let me in."

"No.. Go away. I'm not in the mood to see you." I said, putting the phone back and heading into the kitchen to put the ice pack away. My face didn't hurt at all now, it was just extremely cold. The buzzer went off again and I muttered a hell of a lot of swear words under my breath, mainly about Smithy being an annoying prick.

I put the ice pack in the freezer and threw the tea-towel on the side before going back over to answer the buzzer again.

"Yes?"

"That's what you should have said when I asked you to let me in." Smithy said.

I growled in frustration. "Look, I'm trying to sort myself out here. Will you just leave?!"

"No. I'm not going anywhere until you've let me in and we've spoken."

"Well you'll be waiting a long time!"

"It's okay, this button is quite entertaining... I could stand here and push it for hours."

I clenched my teeth together and took a deep breath. He was purposely trying to piss me off. I pressed the button to let him in and slammed the phone back. I lent against the wall, closing my eyes. I didn't want to talk to him.. It was too late to tell him everything, I just wanted to be left alone.

There was three sharp taps on the door, and I pushed off of the wall and yanked on the handle. I stood in the door way and looked at Smithy, mentally refusing to let him in. "Speak, then get out."

"Aren't you even going to let me in?"

I shot him a glare and he held his hands up in defeat.

"Your face looks sore.."

"It is. Will you just get to the point? I want you to leave."

He sighed. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"I'm fine.. Bye." I said, stepping backwards and pushing the door shut. He stuck his foot out and stopped the door, then pushed it open again. "Was there something else?"

"Stop being like this." He said. "What is wrong with you?"

"What is wrong with me?! Smithy, I am having the day from hell! Firstly, I get made to work with Callum, I then get punched in the face by a complete psychopath, and then when I say that I want you to leave me alone, you just won't go!" I cried.

He sighed. "I'm sorry, that was an insensitive thing to say.."

"Yeah, it was. I'll see you later." I said, pushing on the door again. This time he reluctantly moved out of the way.

The door was almost shut when I heard his voice again. "I heard everything you said to Riley."

I paused, the door slightly ajar.

"I was worried when I saw Callum and he said that you were in there on your own.. I stayed and watched through the glass. I heard what you said to him about being in love.."

"Doesn't mean it was about you." I said, feeling a lump rise in my throat. Why hadn't he mentioned that he'd heard it all before?

"If it wasn't then why did you mention how you always embarrass yourself in front of me, and how you're not my little sister when you were shouting at me?" He questioned.

I slowly pulled the door open, not having an answer.

"And the thing about seeing me with another woman.. You told me to go back to Blondie. You saw me with Stevie on the stairs earlier didn't you?"

I nodded.

"Roxie, you should have just told me." He said, taking a small step into the flat.

I didn't move and looked at him. "It's too late..."

He shook his head.

"It is.. I don't want any of this anymore." I lied. "I thought I was in love with you, but now I realize that none of this is what I wa-"

I was cut off by his lips pressing to mine. I froze for second, then just about managed to pull myself away.

"I can't. Smithy, I'm sorry. I think it's best that we keep our distance from now on." I told him, pushing the door shut again.

He took a step back, looking confused. "But Roxie-"

"-Goodbye, Smithy." I said, shutting the door. I sighed and put my back against the door, slowly sliding down until I was sat on the floor.

I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes. It was finally time to give up.


	15. Chapter 15

**I love how the gun runner episodes are on watch now... Makes me happy tehe.**

* * *

I found myself dragging myself to work the next morning, dreading Julia's reaction to the huge black bruise on my cheek bone, and the news I was going to tell her. I grabbed myself a large coffee from Starbucks, trying to keep my cheek covered by my hand so that no one payed attention it. That was the last thing I wanted, people looking at me, making up little stories as to how I got the bruise in their heads.. If I was one of them I'd probably assume that I was mugged or have an abusive partner. Oh, how I wished I could be viewing my sham of a life from the outside.

I'd laid in bed for hours last night, wondering if I was doing the right thing. Whether lying to Smithy had actually been good for me or not. He had kissed me... Maybe showing that he'd felt the same. But if he had felt the same then he wouldn't have kissed that blonde woman in the first place...

I took a deep breath before walking into the office, then pushed the door open and headed straight for Julia's room. I could see a few of my colleagues looking at me, but I wasn't here to talk to them, I was not in the mood at all. I tapped on the door, then heard Julia's voice. "Come in."

I let myself into the room. Julia was sat at her desk, computer on, quickly typing away.

"Morning Julia." I said.

She stopped typing and looked up at me. "Come here you!" She stood up and held her arms out. I stepped around her desk and she pulled me into a hug. "Someone from Sun Hill called last night, why didn't you answer my calls?"

"I didn't want to talk to anyone." I mumbled.

She slowly stopped the hug and looked at my cheek. "That looks bloody painful, what were you thinking, being in there alone?"

"I just wanted him to talk. Sergeant Stone was supposed to be watching from the observation room. Fat load of help he was!"

Julia sighed. "You always act first then think after you do!"

I nodded and Julia sat down. It was quiet for a moment before I spoke. "I'm going to take some time out.."

"That's fine. I could probably give you a week, after all it has been a stressful experience." Julia said.

I shook my head. "It'll be longer than just a week off."

"What are you trying to tell me Roxanne?"

"I'm going home. I'm going to live with my Mum again, I don't want to be in London anymore." I told her, a lump rising in my throat.

She frowned. "This isn't just about yesterday is it?"

I shook my head.

"Things didn't go right with that bloke did they?"

"No.. I just want to be back with my Mum."

Julia sighed. "So, what? Are you resigning?"

I nodded. "I can't come in everyday. I'll have to."

"It'll be a shame to lose you. Are you extremely sure that this is what you want to do?" She questioned.

"Yes."

She sighed. "Alright. You'll need to write it up for me. On a personal note. I am so sorry that you feel like you need to go home. It's awful that you feel so alone, and I hope you feel better when you get there."

I couldn't stop my eyes from filling up with tears.

Julia saw and pulled me into another hug. "I promise you that no matter how bad things get, it will get better eventually.. Even if it doesn't feel like it."

I hugged her back and tried to stop the tears from rolling down my cheeks. "Why does this always happen to me?!"

"It'll all work out fine." She sighed and pulled out of the hug, rubbing the top of my arms. "You get that resignation to me in the morning, then I'll take you for leaving drinks!"

"Sounds nice.. But I don't want any of the others there.." I mumbled.

"Alright then, just you and I! I'll give you a bell later?"

* * *

I'd spoken to my landlord before I went to the office this morning, and we'd agreed on what to do. I only had one month left until my contract needed renewing, so I was going to pay the next months rent and bills even though I wouldn't be living there. After that, the flat was all his again. Mum and I had also spoken and she was glad about having me home again.

I headed home from the office and started to pack. I still had some boxes in the cupboard from when I'd moved in, so I was all set to go. I decided on packing up the ornaments and bits and pieces that I wouldn't really need first, before starting on everything else. I would have to put a lot of things in storage, at least until I got a flat Essex, because all of my furniture definitely wouldn't squeeze into my bedroom.

After packing up three boxes, I sat on top of one of them and blew my hair out of my face. I glanced around the living room, it looked eerily empty without all of the little homely touches.. It was literally just the sofa, table, shelves and the TV left. I smiled to myself, this flat had so many memories. Like the time when Becca knocked a glass of coffee off of the table.. I slid my foot across the dark patch on the cream carpet, where the coffee had stained.

Suddenly, I was torn away from my memories by my phone ringing. I quickly hopped up and walked into the kitchen. My phone was sat on the side, so I grabbed it and answered. "Hello?"

"Hey Rox!" Becca squealed down the phone. It was the third time that I had heard from her since she'd left nearly two months ago.

"Missing me?"

"Unbelievably! I've been so busy helping Shaun with some of his finances... I meant to call you sooner!" She explained.

"It's okay, I'm glad you called at all." I smiled to myself. "I was just thinking about you actually. Remember the time you spilt that coffee all over my cream carpet?"

She laughed. "Yes! And then you covered it with the rug?"

"Yeah. I noticed the stain when I rolled up the mat to go!"

"To go? Are you getting rid of it?" She asked.

Crap, Becca didn't know I was moving back home! "No.. I'm moving."

"Really?! Found a nice new place?"

"Not quite.. I'm moving in with my Mum again." I mumbled.

"But she lives in Billericay?"

"Yeah.."

I could almost see the frown on her face. "What about work? You can't be moving away, you love your job!" She cried.

"I resigned. I'm just really lonely here, I want to be around my family."

"..Oh." She sighed. "What about Smithy?"

"We're not friends."

"What?!"

"We had an argument.. It's a really long story."

"Why does the interesting shit happen after I've moved away?!"

"I guess everything just falls apart without you." I mumbled. I certainly have.

"Sounds like it!" She sighed. "I'm going to have to go now, I need to call Smithy and my Mum, then I'm going out."

"Oh okay.."

"I promise I'll call soon, and I'll text."

"Mhm.."

"Bye! Love you!" She cried. Before I even had a chance to reply, she'd hung up. I pulled my phone away from my ear and looked at it for a second, before sighing and putting it back to where I got it from. I then headed into the bedroom to pack in there.

* * *

I was all ready to move just six days later. The removals van was booked to take my furniture and some of the boxes, the rest I would squash in my car. Some of my things would be able to squeeze into Mum's garage, the others (such as my sofa) were going into a storage warehouse not far from the house.

Julia had taken me out for a few drinks, as promised, and it was a fairly emotional goodbye. I loved her just like a second Mum, but I was so unhappy in London that I couldn't stay just for her. We promised to call each other often, and she said that my job would always be there if I wanted it back.

I'd had a few phonecall's from Smithy over the last few days, but I'd ignored them all. Everything was bad enough as it is, I couldn't be leaving with him saying that he wanted to be friends or anything.. I just wanted to cut off all ties really. Clearly there would never be a right time for us.

The phonecall's had been followed by texts, asking how I was and to get back to him, but I ignored those too. I wanted to leave almost without a trace.


	16. Chapter 16

**Thank you for your reviews so far... They make me really happy seeing them and knowing that you're enjoying my story! You guys are FAB.**

* * *

Christmas came around fairly quickly. I had settled in at Mum's, until I found my own flat in October. I moved in at the end of November, and settled in well there too. An old family friend, Karen, invited Mum and I over to hers for Christmas. Apparently she was getting a big group of her friends over for the holiday that would be spending Christmas alone, or in a small group.

On Christmas Day, we showed up at eleven, and everyone was already there. Karen's son, Tom, had invited over his friends Jack and Maeve (a seriously cute couple that no one could resist 'aww'ing at!), and Chris. Karen had invited her fella, Jacob, and two of his mates, Jenny and Pete, and their daughter Annabelle. It was a full house.

Karen was still slaving away in the kitchen when we arrived, so Tom greeted us and introduced us to the people we didn't know. Eventually, Karen spared a minute for everyone to exchange presents. It was nice to have a big Christmas for once, as a child it was always just Mum and I, then for the last few years I'd spent it popping in and out of Becca and Julia's before going home to beans on toast. The huge dinner that Karen had prepared had filled me up until at least Easter, there was one point where I looked in the mirror and thought that my stomach was going to explode.

Just before I'd left with a slightly pissed Mum, Chris had slid me his number and gave me a big kiss on the cheek. For the first time in a while, I felt myself blushing as we'd walked away from the house. Chris was good-looking, in fact he was one of the most attractive men I had ever seen.. Tall, dark hair, muscly. I reckon that he'd make a good swimwear model..

We texted for a few days, then he took me out on New Years Eve. He'd picked me up just after seven and taken me to the beach a few miles away from town. He made me sit in the car for about ten minutes, disappearing off to the beach with a huge bag on his bag. I'd actually started to get impatient by the time he'd got back and walked me down to the beach. My impatience completely faded when I spotted the small blanket set up with tiny lanterns and a picnic basket. It was really cute. I'd squealed like some sort of crazy pig, then hugged him before setting myself down and tucking into the food.

We'd had an amazing night, talking and cuddling on the beach, the lanterns giving off a romantic lighting. It was one of the best dates I'd ever had. As it reached midnight, and he'd lent down to kiss me, I knew it was going to be a better year than last. 2009 had already had a brilliant start.. It just couldn't go bad now.. Could it?

* * *

It had reached the start of April when everything changed again. Chris and I finally developed our feelings into a relationship, and I was extremely happy. Chris was gorgeous, and gentle, he was almost like a dream.

The change happened on April the eighth. I remembered being in my room, straightening the last bit of my now brunette hair (I'd fancied a change back in February!), after waking up extremely late, when my phone started to ring. I placed the straighteners down on top of my drawers and answered. "Hello?"

"Roxie? Roxie! I need you to do something for me!" It was Becca. Her tone of voice was urgent, worried even.

"What's wrong?" I questioned, wondering if something bad had happened.

"It's Smithy..."

"No, I don't think so-" I started, only to be cut off. Becca knew everything that had gone on between her brother and I, and she knew full well that I didn't want to go back to how everything was back then.. How I felt..

"-no Roxie, please! He's been stabbed!"

"What?" My voice came out as a barely a whisper, my heart pounding. No, no. Smithy had been stabbed, but I'm sure he would be fine, I didn't need to get involved with him again.

"I need you to go up there! Roxie, he's got a collapsed lung!" Becca cried.

"I, er.." I stuttered for a second. Collapsed lung? God, that could be fatal.. "Can't your Mum go?"

"No, she's here with me! She came up for Easter! Look, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important! I need someone to get up there today!"

"And there's no one else?"

"No one else I can trust more to look after him!"

I sighed, my heart still pounding. "Fine." I mumbled, regretting the moment the word slipped out of my mouth. I really couldn't let Becca down, but I was petrified of all the feelings of failure and loneliness flooding back.

"Thank you so much! If you could get up there and see how he is as soon as possible, he's in St Hughes, then call me and I'll make arrangements to come down?"

"Okay.."

"Thank you again, Roxie. You're a life saver!" She cried, before hanging up as she usually does.

* * *

As requested, I found myself outside St Hughes a few hours later, my heart thumping away in my chest. Good job that I was at a hospital, I almost felt like I would go into Cardiac arrest and have a bloody heart attack.

I asked the receptionist where Smithy was and she pointed me into the direction of him, but warned me that it wasn't visiting hours for another forty minutes. I rushed off to where I had been directed, and finally found his room. I slowed my steps and peered through the window. His room was closed off, away from other patients, and he was laid there on the bed, almost as pale as the white sheets covering him, wire's surrounding his body. It was scary to see him like this.. He'd looked so fragile after the Sun Hill fire, but this? This was petrifying.. He looked like a ghost.

"Scary to see him like that, huh?" The woman's voice came from no where, causing me to jump and whip my head round to look where it had come from. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.."

I looked at the woman in front of me. She was a police officer, blonde, about my height.

"I'm Inspector Weston, Sun Hill." She smiled. "You must be Roxanne, his mother said you'd been sent over."

I nodded. "How is he?"

"They say he should be fine. His lung was punctured by the knife, which caused it to collapse."

I winced as she explained. That must have been so painful...

"He has been extremely lucky this time."

"This time? Is the stabber coming back for him or something?" I muttered sarcastically.

"No, of course not. We're trying to find who stabbed Sergeant Smith right this minute. I just meant that if it ever happens again, which it might within this job, he might not be so lucky next time." Weston explained.

I nodded, looking over my shoulder into Smithy's room. "Can I go and see him?"

"It's not visiting hours, but I suppose an extra half an hour won't hurt. Plus you need to get back to his family.." Weston smiled at me.

"Thank you." I mumbled, and slowly turned to walk into his room. I pushed the door open and walked in. The room was freezing, almost like a fridge, and the sound of beeping from the machines filled the air. I carefully made my way over to his bed, my heart still pounding away. I paused next to him and stared at him for a second before gently touching his left hand. It was cold, probably from the temperature of this room. I sighed and stepped away from him, pulling a chair up next to the bed. I stared at him for a few minutes longer, before speaking. "Oh, god, what am I going to do with you? You're a magnet for danger.." I sighed and let out a little laugh. "Of course you are, you're a copper... You haven't changed at all though, I expected to see some sort of change, but nothing.. Except all these bloody wires hooked up to you."

I watched his chest slowly rise and fall as he breathed. "I'm really sorry about how all of last year ended..." I mumbled. Why was I telling him this whilst he was asleep? Surely I should tell him so he could actually hear me? "I honestly was in such a bad place, and having feelings for someone that doesn't want you is the hardest thing when you're already so alone." A lump started to rise in my throat, so I swallowed it back and decided to stop revisiting the past.

Suddenly Smithy started to stirr. I got to my feet and looked at him. "Smithy..?" He started to pull a tube from his mouth, but I reached and out stopped him. "Leave them there for a second. I'll get a nurse!"

He reluctantly moved his hands, so I left the room to grab a nurse. She came back and started fiddling with all the wires. I sat back on the chair and watched her, she removed the tube from his mouth and warned him that if he found it really hard to breathe then he needs to tell someone. She then nodded to me and left the room.

Smithy turned his head to look at me. "Roxie?" He questioned, his voice quiet and croaky.

"Hi." I said, shocked at how quiet my voice had come out. "Your Mum and Sister asked me to come, they wanted me to see how you were before they come down."

He shook his head. "Tell them that I'm fine..." His voice was raspy. "I don't want them to come down, tell mum to enjoy her break."

I sighed. "Smithy, they're really worried."

"Tell them I'm fine, say the doctors have said I can go home saturday?"

"But Smithy it's Thursday.. You won't actually be allowed home then?"

"They don't know that. Just tell them Roxie."

I sighed again, but reluctantly went outside to call Becca. It had taken a lot of convincing and promises to stay with him until Pauline got home in two weeks time, but they agreed to not come down. I sat back on the chair in Smithy's room and filled him in.

"They won't come down, as long as I stay with you until your Mum gets back in a few weeks."

"Alright."

"One problem. I have no where to stay." I grumbled, thinking about how much a hotel would cost for the next two weeks.

"Stay at mine. Wouldn't be the first time." He croaked.

I hesitated for a second, all this time it had taken to sort my head out and I would still end up in square one again. But I'd made a promise and had no where else to go. "Only if you're sure."

He nodded. "The keys are in my locker at work, but I'm sure that someone will pop by with them later. And you might want to make the bed fresh, I haven't had time to do it."

"Okay.. Thank you."

He smiled and looked at the bandage on his chest. "Trust this to happen to me?"

"You're a danger magnet."

"I must be, especially if you're here."

"Er what does that mean?"

"That you're dangerous." He raspily chuckled, then looked at me again. "I see your face looks well, no long term effects from that lunatic's punch?"

I rolled my eyes at the thought of that Riley Anderson, Smithy was right, he was a lunatic. "It healed up pretty quickly, but it was really sore."

He smiled. "I can't believe Callum left you in there alone."

I shrugged. "I don't really want to talk about it Smithy..."

"Okay."

It was silent for a moment, neither of us really knowing what to say. I supposed I should call Mum and Chris and let them know where I would be for the next few weeks. "I'm just going to make a few phonecalls.."

"To who?"

"That's nosy." I said, getting to my feet. "But if you must know, Mum and Chris."

"Chris?"

"My boyfriend." I said, pulling the door open and walking out. I called them and Chris offered to drive up and stay with me, but I didn't think that was a good idea at all. Smithy and Chris were never going to meet.

When I headed back a few minutes later, Weston had reappeared with a laptop in her hands. She held the door open for me, then followed me into Smithy's room.

"I'm going to try and get him to do some picture ID's, that okay?" She whispered to me.

"Don't ask me, I don't give permission for anything involving him." I whispered back, then looked over at Smithy. "I'm going to go and get a drink."

* * *

When I returned half an hour later, Smithy was asleep and Inspector Weston was sat in the chair beside the bed. She turned her head to me and smiled. "He positively identified the stabber, I sent the image back to the station and they're going to bring him in now."

"That's good." I smiled back at her.

"He fell asleep when I was sending it, so I wanted to inform you seeings as he wouldn't be able to."

"Thanks."

She stood up, the laptop in her arms and looked at me. "I'll be off. I think PC Roberts will be up later, I'll make sure he brings everything Smithy needs from his locker."

"Okay."

"See you." She said, then walked towards the door.

I smiled at her as she passed and left, then sat down in the chair. It was only four o'clock, but I was absolutely knackered. Nate really needed to hurry up with the keys so I could go and relax. I lent back in the chair and closed my eyes. The chair was uncomfortable, of course, all hospital chairs are, but it'd have to do for the next few hours... Not that I was planning on sleeping.

I let out a small puff of breath, thinking about how much everything had changed. This time last year I was living in Canley, with my best friend just round the corner with a job I was happy with. Now I was living in Billericay, my best friend was in another country and I was helping Mum in her Salon by doing spray tans. It wasn't all that bad though, I was happier now than last year, with the exception of being so far away from Becca. I had this amazing and gorgeous boyfriend that I definitely didn't deserve but hell, he was mine anyway. I hadn't stopped smiling this year.

Suddenly, I heard hushed voices and my eyes slowly flickered open to the realisation that I'd fallen asleep. I blinked a few times and saw Smithy talking to Nate who was at the end of the bed. I sat up properly and yawned, attracting the attention of both the men.

"Morning sleeping beauty." Nate said, grinning at me.

"How long was I asleep for?" I mumbled.

"Well I've been here about fifteen minutes." Nate said.

"And you were asleep when I woke up about forty five minutes ago." Smithy informed me.

"A while then." I grumbled and yawned again. "Please tell me you brought Smithy's keys?"

Nate nodded and picked up some keys from the table, he chucked them at me and I squealed and held my hands out, hoping that I caught them and they didn't smack me in the face or something. Luckily, they landed in my hands and I let out a sigh of relief. Nate chuckled, amused. "Good catch."

"Shit throw." I grumbled.

Smithy laughed. "Alright you two, give it a rest."

I hummed in agreement and spoke. "I've just woke up, no one should even speak to me for the next half an hour."

"Cheer up you, surely seeing my face should wake you up a bit?" Nate grinned.

"No it just scared the shit out of me."

"Oi!" Nate cried.

I laughed.

"I'm gonna go now, need to get back to the station." Nate smiled.

"Alright mate, see you soon." Smithy said, his voice still raspy.

"Bye Nate." I smiled at him.

"Don't be a stranger." he told me as he opened the door and left. I nodded and watched him leave.

"Nice sleep?" Smithy asked.

"My back hurts a little and my bums numb but it was alright, I didn't even realise I'd nodded off."

"You're getting old." Smithy teased.

"I don't think so! You're older than me, so that must make you ancient!"

We both laughed.

"I'll be alright for the night now, if you want to go?" Smithy said.

I nodded. "I need a shower and a bed." I got to my feet. "Sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Anything you want me to bring tomorrow?"

"Fresh underwear please, and my toothbrush."

I smiled. "Alright, if I find anything in your underwear drawer that will possibly scar me for life.."

"You'll find the usual." He chuckled.

I narrowed my eyes, still smiling. "I'll take your word for it." I got my things and walked towards the door. "I'll see you in the morning!"

"Yeah. Bye!"

I pulled the door open to leave when Smithy called my name. I looked over my shoulder at him.

"Why did you dye your hair?" He asked.

"I fancied a change, why?"

"I miss the blonde hair, you looked beautiful."

I felt myself starting to blush. "I'll see you later!" I said, and left the room.


	17. Chapter 17

I pushed open the door to Smithy's house and was hit straight away by the smell of him. I paused and closed my eyes, inhaling the scent.. Before shaking my head and continuing to make my way into the house. I reached out and flicked on the light switch to my right. As my eyes searched the hallway, I realized that this place didn't appear to have changed at all through out the past year, even if I had only been here once. I made my way through to the kitchen, placed the keys on the table, and the bag containing a microwave meal that I'd brought on the way here. I had been hungry until the moment I stepped in the house. Now all I felt was butterflies, it was wrong. I shouldn't still get butterflies in the pit of my stomach at the thought of Smithy and anything involving him. I was with Chris now, Smithy shouldn't matter anymore.

I slowly walked through to the living room and flicked the light on. I stared at the sofa, the place I had sat and wound Smithy up about wanting a foot rub.. I blinked a few times before sitting down on the arm chair. This place had a lot of memories, and I'd only been here once before. I couldn't tell what the feeling in my stomach was, at first it was butterflies, and now I felt a little sick. Being back, being in this house, all the memories, it was almost making me relive the past. I'd hoped to never have to sit and think about any of this again. I had my new life... But now I was here I was missing the old one. I missed having my best friend just down the road, I missed those drunken nights out with Sally, Beth, Will and Smithy, I missed my job.

I checked the time on my phone and headed into the bedroom to change the sheets like Smithy had suggested. It took about ten minutes to find everything, then actually do it and once it was finished I flopped down on top of the bed. I wished that I'd known I would end up staying here, I would've brought some clothes. I guess I'd just have to wear my undies in bed tonight and wear some of Smithy's boxers tomorrow. _Smithy's boxers_.. I cringed at the thought of it. Borrowing someone's underwear that would probably be too big, never mind the fact that I was supposed to be doing everything I can to forget him. I sighed. I'd wear my leggings again, and borrow a hoody, then go and buy myself some long overdue new clothes tomorrow afternoon.

I lazily slid my clothes off, not bothering to stand up and kicked them onto the floor before crawling under the fresh sheets and closing my eyes. I just wanted a good night's sleep and to worry about everything tomorrow.

* * *

I groggily awoke, the sun shining straight through the window and into my eyes. I blinked a few times, then realized that I hadn't shut the curtains last night. I rolled my eyes, and rolled over onto my back. The plan for today that I had thought up last night still existed, but as cruel as it sounded... I wanted to spend as little time with Smithy possible. I knew that with Becca and Pauline being away, he didn't have many people that would go in to visit him, yet I still didn't want to sit in there for hours on end with him.

I dragged myself out of bed and walked through to the bathroom, grabbing a towel from the airing cupboard on the way. I turned on the shower before stripping off and climbing in, letting the warm water soak my body. I tilted my head back, allowing the front of my hair and my face to get wet too. Strangely enough, I liked Smithy's shower better than my own... It was cosy, yet spacious and had a shelf big enough to rest the bottles of gel and shampoo on, unlike my shower where I ended up dropping a bottle with a loud bang and worried questions from Chris. _Chris_, I missed him already... Sure it was just one night away from him, but I'd gotten so used to waking up to his gorgeous face, it was strange not to.

I emerged from the shower fifteen minutes later, dried off and then changed. I'd felt rude going through Smithy's underwear drawer, but I needed some kind of underwear and his would have to do, even if it felt like wearing baggy shorts. Which reminded me that I was going to wind him up about having a fat arse. The undies really stood out underneath my leggings, so I hunted around to find a top that was long enough to cover them. I ended up in a white t-shirt with a print of a topless woman on the front of it. I realised that it probably made me look like a lesbian but it was the biggest top I could find and successfully covered my butt.

Eventually, I was finally on my way to the hospital. I hadn't bothered to dry my hair, just scooped it up into a ponytail on top of my head, made myself a coffee then shot out of the door. I parked up the car and headed inside, knowing that I looked a bit of a mess. I couldn't wait to go shopping later on.

When I arrived at his room, Smithy was wide awake and sitting up reading a magazine. It appeared that he had less wires attached to him too.

"Someone's got better overnight." I stated as I pushed the door open.

He looked up at me and smiled. "I'm superhuman, of course I'm going to have a speedy recovery."

I scoffed and took a seat on the same plastic chair as yesterday.

"Nice shirt." He teased.

I rolled my eyes. "It was the only shirt big enough to cover my arse. If your undies weren't so baggy, then I'd have been able to walk around without looking like a lesbian."

He laughed, then paused. "Wait, why are you wearing my boxers?"

"Because I'm not wearing my knickers two days in a row!" I cried. "And don't even think of trying to tell me to wear them inside out."

He laughed again.

"I'm going shopping when I'm done here, I need some clothes and I'm not driving all the way home and back again."

"That's a shame, I could get used to seeing you in my clothes." He smirked.

"Are you kidding?! I look like a skinny little rat in your clothes!" I exclaimed.

"I was joking... Plus that's a lie, you look good in everything you wear."

I scoffed. "Shut up Smithy."

He chuckled and looked back down at his magazine. I stood up and leaned over the bed, looking at the magazine in his hands.

"What you reading?" I questioned.

"Nuts."

I rolled my eyes. "So basically you're looking at pictures of boobs?"

"Well, no, there's funny stuff in here too."

"Yeah, sure." I mumbled and sat back down. "Do you know how long you're going to be in here for?"

He shook his head. "No idea... Can't be too much longer though."

"You hope.."

"Well, if I'm not out by Sunday, I'm discharging myself.. I'm going stir crazy sat in here with nothing to do!" He complained.

"You won't have much to do when you get out of here either!" I told him. "At least in here you get a nurse to wait on you hand and foot."

I noticed a smirk creep up onto his face and _instantly_ knew he was going to wind me up again. "But you can do that at home?"

"Fuck off!" I muttered. He chuckled again, then smiled at me. It was nice that we were getting on, just joking around like when we'd first met. It felt normal... In fact, it felt great.

* * *

Just as Smithy had said, he discharged himself on Sunday night. They'd taken all his wires and etc out, but wanted to keep him one extra night, which he, of course, refused. Nothing that the nurse or I had said had changed his mind and he headed straight to the reception desk to sign the forms so he could change and get out of there.

I'd driven him back to his and warned him that if he died on me tonight, then I was going to get 'stubborn tosser' written on his gravestone. He'd rolled his eyes and muttered some kind of complaint under his breath, then told me to go ahead.

"You do realize they're not going to let you go back to work yet, even if you've discharged yourself." I told him as we sat down on the sofa and tucked into the kebab's we'd grabbed on the way back.

"Well I can try and convince them to let me..."

"You'll get wound up with light duties, seeing everyone running out to calls..."

"Alright, shut up, miss know it all!" He grumbled, stuffing a chip into his mouth.

I grinned, satisfied that I was right. "Happy Easter by the way."

"It's Easter Sunday?"

I nodded.

"Blimey, the past year has gone fast.."

"You're telling me!"

"There's only a few months until Becca moves back."

I nodded again. "It's going to be another big change."

"Maybe she'll bring you back too.." He said, staring intently at me.

I paused and thought about my answer for a bit. "I don't think so... I've got everything I need in Billericay."

"Do you?" He questioned.

I swallowed deeply. "Yes..." I tried to sound confident with my answer, but there was something in the back of my mind telling me that I was lying. "I have my family, a lovely flat, Chris.."

Smithy nodded his head once, then looked back down at his food. "So this Chris... What's he like?"

I smiled. "He's amazing.. he's so funny, and gentle, and he looks like some kind of model, I've never been so close to a six pack before." I gushed, then realized how inconsiderate I was being. I tried to think of something to say, but failed.

"Sounds like a right pretty boy to me!" Smithy muttered.

"I-" I started to defend my boyfriend, then realized Smithy was right. "Well, yeah.. I guess he is a bit."

He smirked and slowly stood up to take his empty plate into the kitchen. "Not even going to defend him..." He tutted.

I also stood up and tried to take his plate. "I'll take them out, you don't have to."

He held onto it and rolled his eyes. "I'm not a cripple. I can take them." He told me.

I sighed and handed him my plate, then sat back down. "I'm going to need to go food shopping tomorrow!" I called after him. "Is there anything in particular that you want?"

I heard the small clatter as the dishes were placed on the counter. He emerged in the door way a few seconds later. "I'll come with you."

I shook my head. "Smithy, you've just come out of hospital after a collapsed lung... In fact you should even be here, you should still be in hospital."

"Roxie, I just want to get back to normal." He told me, crossing the room and sitting back in his seat next to me.

"I know you do, but you need to recover first. I promised your mum that I'd look after you... Not let you get worse."

He sighed, then leant back and closed his eyes.

"Look, if you are so determined to come then I just won't go. I'll order it online so neither of us have to go." I said, then stood up. "I'm going to do the washing up, then I'm going to get ready for bed."

"Fine." Smithy grumbled.

I headed into the kitchen and washed up everything and wiped down the sides, then walked back out. Smithy was near the bottom of the stairs.

"Do you need help getting upstairs?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "I'll be fine."

"Alright, if you're sure." I shrugged. "I'll just lock up, then I'll come up and get my things."

"Okay." He replied and started to slowly make his way up.

I did as I said I would do, and made sure everything was switched off and locked up, then headed up to his bedroom. He was sat on the bed, slightly out of breath, his eyes squeezed shut. I paused in the door way.

"You alright?" I questioned.

He nodded and slowly opened his eyes. "Other than the hole in my lung whistling every time I breathe, yeah I'm good."

I let out a half-hearted laugh. "Do you need anything from downstairs? Once I'm down there with my things, I'm not coming back up."

"You're not staying up here?"

I shook my head. "I don't think that's a good idea..."

Smithy frowned and opened his mouth to say something, then snapped it shut. Perhaps he was going to question what I had just said, but then thought better of it. "Fine.." He spoke. "I'll get you a duvet."

I shook my head. "No, it's fine. I know where everything is, I can get it." I told him, rushing across the room and grabbing my stuff.

"Roxie..."

I ignored him and walked back over to the door, I didn't want him rambling away about how I'm a guest and he isn't an invalid so he should be doing everything for me.

"Rox.." He spoke again.

I looked over my shoulder at him, and then he did it again; he opened his mouth to speak, then shut it again.

I sighed. "Good night, Smithy."

"Night Roxie." He mumbled.


End file.
